i dont know what to do?
Question:
Needless to say, freshman year, we grew apart. We were constantly geting into stupid arguments.We completely stopped talking. I soon found out she had said some really hurtfull things about me, and told secrets i trusted her with.
I found other friends, i absolutley love them to death, but it just doesnt feel the same.
Last night i went to a gatheringand her & my old friends were there. I waved and she waved back. About an hour later we were talking, just like old times, it was a bit akward though.
I would really love to be friends with her again, but my parents dont like her, and my new friends dislike her. I dont know what to do. What do you think I should do?
thanks
Answers:
I honestly had almost the same problem but in my case I was the one with her secret. But I know that no matter how you feel about someone... you should never tell anyone their secrets. I believe that and I keep my promises. I was friends with her since the 7th grade. Both of us were new to that school so we became friends. We became best friends instantly and like you and your friend. Anyone who knew me...knew her. Towards the end of 8th grade... a new girl moved into town and I was beginning to be phased out. I knew exactly what was going on and I confronted them about it. They said that I was being paranoid and that I wasn't being phased out. I was always busy when they wanted to do something. This was completely FALSE. The school year ended and then the summer. We moved to high school and by that time we were completely cut-off from each other. We started high school and I joined clubs and had new friends and old friends from my previous schools since I moved across town. I was enjoying my high school life. Then at the end of our senior year... she begins to start talking to me. I am a very cautious person and knew that there wasn't something right about it. She started asking questions that I don't answer to random people (even old friends) like so you have a boyfriend, when did you lose your virginity, how many guys have you slept with, etc. That type of thing and a bell rang in my head saying that something is wrong and that she is up to something. I turned the questions around at her and instead of her getting answers I was the one getting the answers. I found out that she wanted to bad mouth me because I had moved on with my life and I was doing what I wanted to do from the beginning. She was jealous that her friend because of whom our friendship was ruined was the one who ruined her life by telling people her secret and I didn't. She was angry that because of that other friend she had started doing drugs. YOU KNOW... it is that entire girl thing. Well, we graduated and then 3 months ago I get an im from her saying that she had taken too many medications and wanted me to drive down to her place and take her to the hospital. I being a pre-med student decided that OKAY a person needs help so I should go and help her. I got there and she was sitting there (she was smoking weed) saying that she knew I would come and help her. She was angry with me because I was the one who put her in the place she was in. She wanted me to take the blame for her being on drugs. Which I wasn't going to. Her mom was friends/colleagues with my dad and I had her number so I called her. It turns out that her mom had thrown her out because of her behavior and I was told to leave and never see her again for my own good because she had a tendency of getting people in legal troubles. I left and the next day she was in jail for possession of drugs.
So the moral of the story is that you should be very careful with your ex-friends. I think that you should talk to her but you need to be on your toes at all times. Keep all of your senses open. Tell her that she is on thin ice and that she needs to earn your trust back and that the only way you can be friends is by trusting her. I am really serious about this. I know that friends are great but being happy with your self is greater by like 200%. Sometimes you need to trust your instincts more than you trust your friends. People are very fickle you never know what they are going to do. I think that you should follow what you believe is right but always be on your toes!!!
By the way even if you think that she is trust worthy... remember that she is a person who has multiple faces and you don't know what face she is putting on. My advice try and trust her but leave some space for suspision. I hope you understand. if not e-mail me. my e-mail address is the same as my screen name up here.
Once bit, twice shy! Always remember that. You have a new life.
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