Sex with bf.why am I like this?
Question:
I love my bf and he loves me, I know this. we are both in our 20's. I enjoy turning him on sexually and seeing him get 'hot' but whenever he initiates sex I feel like he is using me to get sex - which I know is the whole point of sex to begin with... I know that he is a good person and is not using me in general, but I only get this feeling after I have turned him on, I get defensive. while we're in the act, a part of me really enjoys it and another part of me feels disgusted like I'm being used for his pleasure (which obviously i am at that point). why do I feel like this? when I was in HS a guy forced me to perform oral sex in his car - could this be related to that or not? He is my first real bf and I have little experience with men.
Answers:
It definately sounds like you are reacting to the incident in high school. You should never feel like you have to do something, so if you are uncomfortable doing something with your boyfriend, you should stop. You might find it helpful to talk with a psychologist or counselor. Also, talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling. Does he know about what happened to you? And remember, when you are engaged in sexual activity, you aren't just there as an object for him to use. You are there to enjoy in mutual pleasure, and as much as he's getting pleasure from your body, you should get it from him.
Consider therapy. You did go through an ordeal and this maybe the problem.
Oh the only way u can figure this out is stop having sex with him an see if he still is your bf. I have had tons of guys like that but i dont mind. My current bf is only my bf because i have sex with him and i enjoy sex a lot.
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