Anal sex...?
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Ok, first of all you need a lot of patience. Most people won't succeed the first time. My wife and I tried several times until we succeded.
Second, use lots of water based lube. Forget the anesthetic kind of lubes, they will numb your butt and your boyfriend can tear you up inside and you won't feel a thing. If it hurts, you are doing it wrong.
Third, do it after at least 2 hours of your last poop. If you have the urge to take a dump or have just gone, forget it. It will be a mess.
Fourth, as one said, you do the driving. The easiest position for my wife and I was her laying on her side (spoons position). Have your boyfriend tease your anus with a lubed finger or penis. Don't stick it in yet, build up your urge for penetration.
You can try this: before penetration, your boyfriend can try sticking one finger in. When you are confortable, ask him for a second finger and then, a third. My wife and I tried this but it didn't worked.
So we tried with my penis. The trick here is to understand how the anus works. The anus actually consist of two sphincters: the outer under your control and the inner under involuntary control. The latter is the one that closes and causes all the pain. For your boyfriend to get in, it has to be relaxed and persuaded to open.
Have him lube up your anus and his penis and go slow, really slow. When the tip of the penis goes in, have him to stop. The really really slow, go deeper. If it starts to hurt, stop and then back up.
You may not get it all the way in the first time you succeed in penetration, but next time it will be easier. Not because your anus gets weak but because you learn to control it more. Also, taking deep breaths will help you relax your anus.
Good Luck!
u let me know if there is a secret because I feel exactly the same way!!
Lubricant - always use lubricant!
And you do the driving, and only do as much as you can handle.
I find that I can't just stop, I have to keep moving.
If you're going to do that, make sure you use a LOT of lubricant! Have him prep you with his fingers first, too.
some women like it some don't. Really, the anus isn't designed for a penis. It is normal that it hurts. Try using lots of lube, and ask him to go slow. I have only tried it a few times myself..I don't care for it.
lube lube lube lube lube lube!
ha and ask him to go slowly.
and relax
When you first had regular sex, was it painful? You have to practise and get your body use to what you are doing to it.
Anal sex you need to be particularly careful with though as you can tear muscles in there and it will hurt for a long time.
All I can suggest is do something that makes you really relaxed before you try again, and if it keeps on hurting, maybe you should stop, your anal muscle may be too tight to allow this.
my suggestion is to make sure you use planty of lube and try playing with your clit. i find it that when i play with myself or put a clit stimulator on while we're doing it its not painful because you have a sense of distraction.
The first time that I tried it -it was painful too. But we had no lub @ all. Only working with a condom. And that wasnt too much. So we stoped. Afterwards it hurt at first when I tried it again a few years later but I seem to notice there is one part that you have to overcome inside and once you get past it (it seems to be tighter) you are fine. But just a fyi it can get messy.
My bet is he went to fast. If this is your first time, you need to make sure he goes SSSSSLLLLLLOOOOOOWWWW. It takes time for your muscles to relax and allow him in, and you need to relax and not resist his entry. Also, critically important is an adequate amount of lube. You can't use too much! Lube, relax and enjoy - thats my modo.
1st use lots of lube
2nd start small, use a finger or a thin dildo
3rd once you penetrate the anus stop for a few seconds then go slow until the muscle is relaxed
4th make sure the person (perpetrator) doesn't go super fast during the act, if (he or she with a strapon) does goes fast it will make the receiver very uncomfortable
if you need to talk more please email me at tencar@yahoo.com
have him finger youre *** first
gross browny punching
It takes patience and practice. He must go slow and use lots of lube, KY is the best. When he first gets it in there he should just let it lye there so your body or butt can adjust, than a few slooooow strokes. You'll be fine
I've tried it before and the first time was very difficult for me. i couldn't get into it i was freaking out! the second time i was a little more confident in knowing that this was something we both agreed on and knowing my bf would enjoy it. he started with his fingers first and it got me use to the idea and we used a lot of lubrication so he can easily enter me. once we did all this he was in and it didn't feel like the first time we tried it was actually quite enjoyable!
Make sure he didn't mistake your nostril for your anus.
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