Why can't I orgasm?
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well here are a couple things that could tell u why u aren't orgasming and what could set you off:
*taken from talksexwithsue.com*
Female Orgasm: We get so many questions about orgasm, I will try to provide some information about the BIG O.
An orgasm is described as a level of sexual arousal that reaches a peak then subsides leaving the participant feeling elated, relaxed and sexually satisfied. It is difficult to describe an orgasm because it is different for every female. Women generally describe it as a feeling of being so aroused that you are going to explode.
Muscles in your body may go into contraction, your hands tighten up, you may arch your back, your facial expression is intense, your breathing pattern changes to short gasps, your legs tremble, your toes curl under. You may make groaning noises, whimper, some women cry out. Because the sensations are so intense and so different for each woman, it like trying to describe a sneeze.
Are all women capable or reaching orgasm? Yes, unless there is some rare congenital abnormality or extensive genital surgery where nerves have been cut. Some women who have had a stroke can still reach orgasm. Women who are Spinal Cord injured and are paraplegic or quadraplegic will probably not have a genital orgasm but can reach orgasm by stimulating other areas of their bodies. Some women who have severe diabetes may not reach orgasm because of nerve degeneration.
Some women have lovely small ripple orgasms, others have massive orgasms. There are women who have one orgasm after the other as long as the stimulation continues; for others, one is quite enough for them. There is no normal, all are unique. A few women may have singleton orgasms with one partner and multiple orgasms with another partner. Some women experience a headache after orgasm; some start to cry and some start to laugh; this is simply a release of pent-up sexual tension. These reactions quickly pass and you bathe in the afterglow. Be honest about it. Every once in a while, you will have a cataclysmic orgasm. He will know it – he'll have the bruises to show for it. There are no rules when it comes to orgasms.
It is a myth that a female should have an orgasm every time she has sex. There are times when it just will not happen, if she feels fat or ugly, afraid that she might get pregnant or a disease, she may be tired, stressed, angry at her partner, preoccupied with family or finances etc. She may be uncomfortable, even in pain.
There will be times when all systems are GO and she does not have an orgasm. The sex was good, she is fine, satisfied, happy and contented. She was very aroused then just slid over the top and into the "refractory period" but she is still purring.
Here is where your partner enters the scene. Do not ask "DIDJA COME?" This puts pressure on her to have an orgasm to convince you that you are a good lover and capable of satisfying her. She may be tempted to fake orgasm just to have you believe that you are that good. Faking orgasm is destructive to a relationship that is based on honesty and trust. If your partner is dishonest, the trust level is shattered and that can be very damaging to a relationship.
Ladies, be honest, "No, I didn't have an orgasm but you are great, I feel wonderful, WOW, you are da man." Guys, accept that.
HOW TO HAVE AN ORGASM for FEMALES
Most women reach their first orgasm all by themselves. Few things you have to do before you begin. First, you have to:
1. Become comfortable with your own body.
2. Look at the messages you got as a kid about "self pleasuring"(masturbation). Bad, dirty, dangerous?
3. Give yourself permission to fantasize about sex. Read a sexy novel, romance pocket book, allow yourself to get turned on. You can't masturbate without fantasy. Read our web site on female masturbation.
4. Give yourself permission to stimulate yourself, Learn what pleasures you, all by yourself.
5. Share that information with your partner, guide your partner so he can make the moves that are pleasurable for you.
There are a few basics you need to know. For most females, penis size is not important. Bigger is not better. Most women do not reach orgasm with sexual intercourse. Most women reach orgasm by clitoral stimulation, either manual, oral-genital contact or a vibrator.
The G spot orgasm:
We have both ends of the spectrum here - couples who devote the entire weekend trying to find the elusive G Spot; then we have females who are all upset because they think they pee'd the bed during sex, and are so embarrassed they are reluctant to get into sex again for fear they flood the bedroom!
Anatomically, the G Spot cannot be found as such; it is believed to be a small spongy pad that wraps around the urethra. If that pad is stimulated through the vaginal wall during sexual arousal, it can be very exciting.
The G Spot is a small area, (about 1 inch diameter) inside the vagina, up about an inch and half to two inches. Appropriate stimulation will cause the female to take a deep breath and push down real hard. Most women describe the sensation as feeling they want to urinate - they have a powerful urge to "bear down", same sensation of pushing when delivering a baby. They take a deep breath, hold it and push right down to their bottom.
During G Spot orgasm, a large amount of fluid may suddenly gush out through the urethra. It is difficult to estimate how much fluid is expelled. I have heard amounts ranging from one cup to 2 quarts. The G Spot fluid is colourless, (urine is yellow), it smells sweet like clover, (urine smells like urine), it does not stain the mattress, (urine certainly does).
Every woman who has experienced G Spot orgasm has a different way of getting there. But there is a common thread through their stories. Usually it happens when:
- she is in a high trust relationship where she does not worry what she looks like, sounds like or smells like; she is confident.
- she is very, very sexually aroused. She has possibly had one or more orgasms just prior to reaching G Spot orgasm.
- she reaches a certain point and she just has to push down.
- she can feel the fluid spurting out and it feels wonderful.
- after that orgasm, women will tell you they feel completely depleted, they can hardly walk to the bathroom.
- it the best sex possible.
Some women say they have easy G Spot orgasms with one partner and unable to get there with another. Some women are able to stimulate themselves to G Spot orgasms, others just can't.
Some women get tired of having a perpetually wet bed, so they take a green garbage bag, cut up one side and across the top. Open it up, then take a flannelette sheet or big beach towel, pin it to all four corners of the garbage bag. Then roll this up lengthwise and put it just under her side of the bed, within easy reach. Then if she decided that "tonight's the night, ain't nobody gonna stop me now", she reaches under the bed, rolls the sheet/bag under her hips. Her partner knows what that means, and away they go.
Take the pressure off yourself. Some females ejaculate on a regular basis, some can make it happen, for others it is an amazing accident, and some women just do not ejaculate. But sex is pleasurable and enjoyable and satisfying if you do or don't hit that elusive G spot.
there you go. hope that helped
might sound weird but i lay on my stomach and rub my clitoris very hard.works for me
rub your clitorus really hard really fast for a long time that will do the trick.
Relax and focus.
One thing to try do is is romance yourself. One day, preferably a weekend that way there is no stress of work, put on some mood music, the candles or do whatever turns you on, and just start exploring yourself in a relaxed environment. Don't get frustrated if it doesn't happen right away. Stress isn't going to help any.
Well first of all, if you cant even give yourself one, i doubt any guy will be able to. You need to find out what really turns you on, and experiment with yourself. You need to be really relaxed also. Dont stress about it when you are trying to have one, cuz this will just make it not happen. Just enjoy how good everything feels. Other than that, i dont know, ive never had a problem with this. Good luck!
you need to relax and stop trying to force the feeling. and just explore to see what feels good to you, ie: clitoral vs vaginal stimulation or a combination of both, etc... and dont depend or count on guys to "give" you the first one cause 9 times out of 10 its not gonna happen unless you are one of the lucky women who are easily climaxed. I cant climax just from penetration, I need clitoral stimulation as well and or oral sex or just clitoral stimulation. anyway hope some of that helps you out!
Hi there,
I hope this response helps you, as this can be frustrating for both you and your partner.
First off, an orgasm is a natural, uncontrolled contraction of the cervical membrane and lower portion of the uterus. As you orgasm and contract, your cervix crunches up like a spring to recieve any semen that is entering the vaginal canal. This happens several times until the orgasm has ended. This is an important step (although it is not necessary) in family planning and conception.
Second, you have two (there are more, but they are more challenging) main orgasmic centers that can be achieved easily. One is the G-spot and the other, the clitoral orgasm. It is important to understand that you can not control this reaction- it is purely neural- so the more you concentrate on it during intercourse, the less likely it will happen. Relax, and try these positions.
For G-spot stimulation, during intercourse, have your partner instert the penis into the vagina (while you are on top). Lean a few inches forward, rubbing the penis up and down against your recto-vaginal space (the membrane separating your rectum and vagina). If you do this for a few minutes, with lubrication, you WILL stimulate your G-spot orgasm. Remember, the more you think about it, the less likely it will occur, so just let this all be natural.
Second, you can experience a clitoral orgasm by first, using a slippery lubrication, and massaging your clitoris. Start softly, using a palpable motion around the clitoris, then move to the center of it (while increasing pressure steadily).
I think that if you relax, and do not try to think about it, a G-spot orgasm will occur. Clitoral orgasms are a bit more challenging, and more fulfiling, so start with a G-spot orgasm and work your way up.
I hope this helps,
Kelly McBride, RDMS
its not plugged in, batteries werent included, batteries aren't installed, the doll has lost all of its air, its in the wrong hole.lots of reasons..
Most women do not have orgasms through sexual intercourse alone. It requires manual or oral stimuation of the clitoris. So if you are trying toys that go inside, it won't necessarily work. Try a hand-held back massager or shower massager. Using the base of your thumb press and rub fast over the your clitoris.experiment.
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