Secret Abortion. Now what?
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If you feel that your mother would welcome you with the support that you desperately need, then please do tell your mother. However, if you think that she will make you feel more guilty about it, I would delay telling her, if not decide to never tell her.
I really encourage you to get to a place like Planned Parenthood where they offer counseling for women just like you. Be wary of going to another women's health clinic, however, as some of them are only posing to be a center for helping women, and are instead a factory to spread propaganda and unnecessary guilt and suffering. If there is a counselor at your school, use that resource to your advantage! Even if you have to talk to your mom about feeling really depressed lately so that you could possibly get even a therapist of your own to help resolve these issues, I know it would help.
I send my best to you! Good luck.
If you can, confide in your mother or an adult you trust. Also you could try planned parenthood or ask your doctor who you could talk to. There are many people who understand what you are going through. I was there once myself, it took awhile but i have made peace with myself. Good luck sweetie.
you always have someone you can talk to. Go to your preacher or your councler there are also hot lines you can call but yes i SAY YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE A HEART TO HEART WITH YOUR MOTHER. She may be able to help you . Also if you really feel bad about this why are you having unprocted sex? You know what you have all ready gone through do you want that again?
I hate to tell you that you are going to carry this with you forever. Having an abortion is not an easy thing, and given your current reaction to having one, it will not be an easy thing to grow with.
You need to have someone to talk to. If you can't tell your family, do you have a best friend you trust and can talk to? If not, you might want to consider seeing a therapist. I know it's not the same as someone who is very close to you who can hold you and wipe away your tears and tell you everything will be ok, but a therapist can help you work through your feelings of guilt.
Try not to feel too guilty about it for too long. I know being from a very religious family the guilt can build up and build up until you want to explode, but it serves no good purpose. It only makes you sick. God still loves you, and though He cries WITH you because of the loss of the baby, He still loves you. And if He could, He'd probably be here wrapping His arms around you and comforting you. Do NOT let ANYONE tell you that what you did was so abominable that He hates you and you are going to hell as a result. It's not true. God loves you just as much now as He did yesterday, and the day you were born.
if it's eating you up this badly I would def talk to your mother about it, if not her than atleast someone that knows you personally. I wouldn't be surprised if counseling would be needed. I've never had an abortion and I'm sure that if for crazy reason I had one I'd be reacting the same way you are.
yes,,,tell your mother. mothers surprise us every once in awhile, and i think she may understand. she loves you no matter what, and would hate to have you in such pain. at the time, you did what you had to do,,,been there, done that...i'm sorry that you had to endure this alone. get some counseling to help you carry on with the rest of your life...God bless
You made the best decision you could in the moment you made it. It was a very adult decision. Adults don't always share everything with their parents. Be kind to yourself. Have a good cry. Turn the G in guilt to a G for gratitude. find something to be thankful for.
If you trust your mom, tell her. But you got to ask yourself will she be mad, mean or more upset than you will feel better for telling?
Wow, thats hard, I hear a lot of the same stuff about women who were raped. its ok, you were young, you didnt know what would happen, you just did what u thought was right, i would say try to tell her, maybe coming clean could help you even more
I'm so sorry you had to go through this.
If your parents are very religious, and you have a good relationship with them now, I wouldnt tell your mom.
I think in a few years...But not now. It's very very soon. This could have an extremely negative affect on your relationship with her, and could quite possibly damage it forever. I wouldnt take that chance if i were you.
I think you feel the most guilty because you're hiding it from everyone.
Someone else who was talking about God.. She's very right. God will love you no matter what. Abortion is a very personal thing, and unless you have a friend to confide in, it should remain between you and God.
The baby and God both know that at this age, you were not ready to have a baby.. You will have another chance to have and raise and love another baby later in life. =)
For now, try not to worry about it.. You did the right thing. If your family is very religious, it probably would have embarrassed them, and they probably would have been angry. Also, financially it would have been nearly impossible to take care of the baby. You knew you couldnt take care of it properly at this age. It's sad, yes, but, you did the right thing.
take care sweetie.<3
you should tell someone that you feel close to but not necessarily your mom . Remember this will hurt her too probably so you need to tell someone else first and get it straight in you head . You probably did the right thing but the only way to know for sure is to talk to someone about it . I never had an abortion before but all my friends and my sister did . It is not easy but honey a BABY is alot worse to deal with if you are not ready for it .
if you think it will help with the healing process, i would tell her. however, if you feel you can't do that, there are online support groups for women who have gone through abortions and feel sad about them. personally, i think you did the right thing for your situation.
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