19-year old virgin wanting to change. Advice?

Question:

I am 19 and very ready to have sex. However, I don't have a boyfriend, or even a close guy friend that could become a sort of "friends with benefits". I really want a boyfriend, but I don't think that I'll be able to get one until I loose my virginity (I'm very shy!). My friend in another state is getting everything set up for me to loose my virginity when I come to visit during the holidays. She's basically hooking me up with a guy she knows, and I'm going to get a little drunk (not to the point I won't remember it, but enough to loosen me up), and then we'll have sex. I know this sounds awful, but I think it will help me overcome a lot of my fears (think jumping into the pool rather than slowly getting in). Before you make any comments, I want you to know that I don't have a low self-esteem or anything like that. I'm 5'2" 130 lbs, and I am only a virgin because it's just not happened yet.

Answers:
Oh, honey, Please don't! First off I'm a mom who lost her virginity way too early in a relationship that I now regret. However, I have a 17 yro son, who is active, I have a 13 year old daughter who plans on remaining a virgin until she gets married.

I;m sure you know the facts. Sexually transmitted diseases,pregancy, pain, shame, self esteem after. All kinds of things may go right, but may also go terribly wrong.

Wait until you have a guy who truly values you for who you are. Love caring and mutual respect will make this a better experience, and a better memory in your adult years.

If you don't wait until you're married that's fine, but don't just hook up for the act with someone you don't know squat about. She may trust him, but this is your body and your call. Ultimitely, this is about self respect as well as self esteem. There is more to self esteem than just body esteem or body image esteem, it's also valuing who you are and what you are about.

Example, I know I'm attractive and guys have made that clear, but I also know I'm a good mom, a caring friend and sister, and I am a good worker. I am a good cook, seamstress, and not such a great housekeeper. I don't earn a lot of money, but I enjoy my job.
I've found a lot of balance in my own life since I've figured out these things about myself regardless of any guys opinion of me, including my husband whom I've been with for 23 years. It's called SELF-esteem. Beacuse it has to come from SELF, and it's about SELF.

And Heck, you can always buy a s** toy, or "entertain" yourself in some other way. Part of being a good partner is knowing what you like, and being able to show or tell your partner how to please you. He might even like to watch.

Sorry ,maybe a bit too much, you are a virgin after all.

just take your time and youll find the right guy,it just takes time

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19-year old virgin wanting to change. Advice?

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