Can immediate family cause you stress to the point of getting sick?
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Yes. In my opinion, immediate family cause a huge amount of stress, and this can make a person feel ill. Stress can cause all kinds of physical symptoms.
There are several strategies that I use for dealing with 'immediate family stress':
1. Is what this person is telling me / off-loading onto me MY stuff? If it's not, and it probably isnt, you don't have to take it. It's like an unwanted gift - don't accept it. Mentally reject it as not yours, and let it just slide off you.
2. Before you pick up the phone (because avoiding it is just putting off the inevitable) imagine a clear bubble all around you. Inside the bubble you feel protected and safe, and the only people you allow inside this bubble are those that you love the most, that won't hurt you or make you feel bad. Imagine that whatever someone says to you can only come through the bubble if YOU choose it to. Your phone conversation will be a lot easier, and you will manage to come out of it with less damage to yourself.
It is really important to try and keep channels of communication open, so if you can talk to your parents when you feel strong enough (psych yourself up!) and let them know that you feel bad when you argue, it would be a positive step. It's hard to be assertive to our parents and for them to accept that the child they brought up and raised can think for themselves and have different opinions and values. But it's really important that you don't feel that your views and values are less than those of your parents - they are different. If you can remain rational and try to stay on the moral high-ground by not shouting, getting personal or abusive, it will help you keep your stress levels low.
Having grown up ina family where emotional blackmail was common currency, I sympathise with you. Even now, as a mum with three kids, my mum still gets to me. I have to take a deep breath, say to her what i think, and face the music. I refuse to be as brow beaten as I was as a teenager, and I would advise anyone else out there to assert themselves - but thoughtfully! Good luck. It's a journey, I tell you!!
In the overall scheme of things, the stress you feel is the stress you allow yourself to feel. As long as you allow yourself to live for everyone else first, as most of us do, you will be stressed and can become ill by not relaxing more. Try this when you feel stress coming on: 1 large deep breath in through your nose and exhale out through your mouth slowly three times, I think you will be amazed how this may help. Also, LET NO ONE STEAL YOUR THUNDER ...
YES YES YES! You can try to tell your parents that you are having proublems dealling with stress - Been there done that and Go to the Doctor and ask for help. I have been on a lot of meds. but now take "Relacore" works for me.
yes mine does it to me all the time, i let it bother me so much some days i actually get sick...
Yes...Immediate family can cause you a great deal of stress, even to the point of making you sick. You need to learn how to decipher which people in your life are toxic for you. I know it sounds crazy, but yes, people can actually be toxic to another persons well being.
Once you have figured out who / what the toxins are, you need to
"eliminate" it / them. I'm not saying cut the person off and never speak to them again. But, you are the only one who can allow other people to make you sick. Whether you know it or not, you are in control. If not answering the phone helps, then don't answer it. Screen your calls. Change your number. Set a timer and limit the length of your conversations. You need to start worrying about you & your health. Take charge!! Best Wishes
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