How does one conquer a fear of public speaking?
Question:
My hands shake when im holding a piece of paper, my face turns red & i find it extremely uncomfortable making eye contact with the audience. I don't know if it is obvious to the audience that i'm nervous, but i've always got that feeling & i'm always having to pretend that i'm not nervous, & I know the audience isnt there to judge me or make fun of me.
I avoid taking classes, even the ones i do want to take, because i know i'll have to make a presentation.
I've tried taking herbal sedatives but they dont work! Are there any pills that i can take? Has anyone been to a doctor for this problem?? Does hynosis work?
Please help! im afraid ill be crippled for life & that i will always have to avoid certain career paths & jobs!!
Answers:
Hi - I have a similiar problem - always have. I figure mine comes from the need to impress or to meet and exceed the standards of my peers and professors or whoever may be listening. Though I know where I get it, I can never seem to make it go away. The crazy part is, I want to be youth pastor, so of course, in my bible college, you have to present sermons. I don't know if I can think of anything that will help, but what I often try to do is while I'm listening to other people's presentations, I think about what I am thinking about them. I don't think anything bad about them - in fact, even if they appear to be nervous (and they are), I still am thinking, not about HOW they present, but rather, WHAT they are presenting and I believe most people are thinking the same thing.
In speech class and homiletics class (the art of preaching), we were given a few books about public speaking and all the books said the same thing - it is natural to feel what you feel - everyone experiences it - but of course on different levels - some deal with it and move on, and some people like me, have to constantly remind myself not to run out the door. What I have found that works (at least for me) is humor. If I can make others laugh, thus making me laugh, it seems to release some of the tension and I can relax more during a presentation. In fact, I figured out if I don't, I'm not sure if I could make it to the end. And truthfully, the end is the best part - it is such an accomplishment to finish because you think, wow, I did it and if I did it this time, I can do it again. Of course, the excitement wears off after a day or two, and then when the next time you are faced with the same rush of adrenaline and emotions and nervousness.
I guess my point is, I can relate - I still try to avoid the classes that have presentations, but being a senior in a bible college makes that nearly impossible and not to mention as for a career. I'm getting better the more I learn about my style and what I need to do to relax and make my point. And that is the other thing: usually with any presentation, you are presenting facts and a lot of times those facts can be for the betterment of society and/or people. That for me is also a motivation in itself to go and speak in front of people - because I want people to know what I know and perhaps that knowledge can change their lives - I have to ignore me to acknowledge them.
As for making eye contact, I felt the same way. The paper in front of me was always my safe place in front of people and I wouldn't look up. Someone told me that they pick out people in the audience that "look nice" or they know are nice and make eye contact with only them and said I should try it. I did and it made me feel more comfortable as well because they would give me a quiet nod or a small smile of encouragement and it made it a little but easier because in at least a classroom setting, they have to do the same thing.
I don't know if there is a right or wrong answer, I just know I understand your feeling and experience the same symptoms. My suggestion is to maybe read a few books on it. One of our textbooks was called: "Public Speaking," by Michael and Suzanne Osborn (Amazon has it used). It is a good book to read about this very issue and is relevant to mine and your situation. There are other books out there as well - try your local library. Good luck with everything!
Your fear comes from within you. I have done a lot of public speaking and it is normal to be nervous. You cannot let it stop you. I think you need to have more self confidence. You should start out by doing silly things in front of your family and then try karaoke. I know it sounds weird, but it will help you. Once, you start to overcome it just a little, you will get over it. It is a self confidence issue. You need to remember no on is perfect and everyone has faults.
public speaking is somthing everyone will have to do at some point in your life. a person should consider them selves veryy lucky if they get threw their whole life with out ever having to make a public speach. You cant let your self be afraid of somthing that you cant stop. Public speaking is just talking in front of people, dont let it scare you. Dont be scared of messing up, and defentally dont be scared of what they might think of you. You will never over come your fears if you dont take them head on.
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