How do you deal with a seriously Bi-Polar loved one when he/she is in denial?

Question: Recently, I noticed a pattern in a loved one's behaviour. It was an eye-opening experience, because she had all the classic symptoms of being Bi-Polar and then some. During her manic swings she is the most positive and loving person on earth, and generous to a fault. During her 'depressive' moods she's like a pit-viper, angry, sullen, and ready to seriously maim the heart and spirit with cruel criticism, insults, and ridicule...even in front of other people. I've witnessed her vascillating between the two modes several times in one day. Yet, when I mention that she might get some medical help, she vehemently counters that there is nothing wrong with her, it's just her. I worry about what this is doing to her physically as well as mentally. Any tricks for coping, other than just running away and hiding until the 'bombing' stops? I've already tried leaving informational brochures around for her to find. It makes her mad. She won't even allow a discussion.

Answers:
Your friend is SO fortunate to have you in he life! You have my sympathy. My daughter was diagnosed as bipolar last summer, after 3 years of our family wondering what on earth was the matter. ... If I was there, I'd urge your friend to "test the theory". Have someone reliable keep track of her moods, energy levels, etc... also various "triggers" or contributing factors, such as illness, her monthly cycles, change in significant relationships, changes in work schedules, weather, etc. Her mood swings might be rapid cycling; in a few cases it can even be monthly! She might have PMDD like me (poor gal). It's a little unusual for swings to occur within 24 hours; most episodes of manic or depressive last days or weeks, even months. talk to an expert in bipolar about that... Also, she may have her own "definition" of what bipolar is -- and it might not be accurate. And, she might be afraid to have any mental illness diagnosis; LOTS of people are. They believe, even subconciously, that if they admit it, or are diagnosed, that they'll be shunned everywhere. There's also the unpleasant possibility that she is abusing some drug -- prescription or "street" variety-- and thats's causing the diffuclties, or contributing. Self-medicating is risky! Even if it's "only" drinking alcohol. She needs to kniow several things with utter clarity: 1) her behavior is NOT normal. 2) her behavior is NOT socially acceptable. 3) Her behavior IS putting her at risk -- for loss of employment, loss of friends, stupid sexually-risky behavior, illegal actions, jail, etc etc etc. 4) there IS help available, and 5) if she refuses to even try, then she ISN'T being kind & generous & loving -- she's being totally selfish, and shouldn't have friends even when she's being "sweet". (she probably won't comprehend that last one until she's in a "good" mood; and even then she may not believe it.) ...it will take a major impact to get thru her denial. I have no idea what form/kind of impact. I do know you can't help someone who refuses help. Take care of yourself; let her experience the consequences of her own actions, only intervening when she's doing (or about to do) something illegal or likely to cause harm/danger to herself or others. For some good support, check out web sites like the Depression forum on About.com, or www.bipolarhappens.

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U are going ot have to wait until they finally realize, if not then you should give them information on signs and symptoms and let them know it is very common. 3 out of 10 people are Bi-Polar. Without medicine, or treatment it will only get worse. They really need help because they can not help the way they act. I am Bi-Polar, so I know.

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