If you found out your husband was using drugs would you leave him?
Question:
Answers:
ADVICE:Please don't leave him! No I would not leave him. I would help him. It was said in your wedding vows. You should stay loyal to him and not leave him when he needs you the most. He needs help and you are his companion for life. Even if he refuses, take him to rehab. If he loves you, he will know you are doing it for his own good. He will believe you and tell him its for his health. Remember you are doing this out of your love and concern. His refusal should not stop you from doing what is right for his good health.If he responsible, he will come to realize he does need help. I'll pray for him. EMAIL ME AND I WILL TRY TO HELP!:)
Other Answers:
my girl hasn't left me
When you took your vows, didn't you say "For Better or Worse, In Sickness and in Health"?! You must not love him to leave him when he needs you most. Either that or you just plain out lied to God, Your Family, Your Friends and to him when you said I do. No.I would ask him why he does he need them (there could be an underlying cause that is affecting him and causing him to do drugs). Tell him that I love him and don't want to see anything bad happening to him.
It depends what drugs. Marijuana, no. Crack or heroin, I would give him an ultimatum.
how can he be a good father and husband if he is using drugs? so you mean to tell me as long as you dont see him doing it it is ok with you? what if one day it really starts to affect him more than you realize and he does something to you or your daughter? Will it still be in sickness and in health then? I think you should tell him how important it is to you for him to get help, that you don't want to lose him and you want him in your daughters life but that you are NOT ok with his drug abuse. If he still refuses help I really dont think it is a good idea for you to stay in that relationship. Good luck!
I would have to ask myself if I see a personality change in him when he uses. If so he may have a problem. If you are unsure you can contact your local al-anon group and go to a few meetings and see how you feel. Al-anon is for friends and families of alcoholics. They can steer you in the right direction. OK, I'm going to answer from personal experience. How long has he been doing drugs? If he just started then more than likely he'll start being irresponsible, quite his job and become a bad father and husband. My father was an alcoholic/drugatic since he was 16. When my mom married him she thought he would chill out when they got married and had a family and would stop doing the things he did, but he didn't. It just got worse over the years and made mine and her lives hell. I had an awful child hood and I hope you wouldn't put your children through the same. Yes, my father was hard working just like your husband and he was very talented..however, he didn't shape up until after my mother left him after 12 years of marriage. Then he went back to High School and got his degree and then went to college to become a physciatrist (or how ever you spell it)..Do what ever you feel is right because you know your husband better than I do, but doing drugs is unacceptable and I would suggest you tell him that if he does them then you are taking the kids and going because eventually he'll come to realise that he had rather have you than drugs, but he has to work it out for himself. Sorry if I'm rambling, but I hoped I helped.
Yes I believe in sickness and health, but it does not say anything about co-dependency. He has got to want to do it or himself. Sure you can take him to rehab, AA, NA, CA, and whatever group. But if his heart is not in it nothing will work. You say he's a good husband and father, but where is he getting the money to support his habit?? If it's out of his check or yours, that is money that should go the running the house, feeding and clothing you and the children, is that what a "good man" does?? I don't think so. Sometimes one has to show the so called tough love.
I had to send my husband packing, not because of drugs, but I was not going to be a co-dependent, coming in second or third place to others. I would definitly send him packing if the funds were going to his habit. I hope you have the strength to do what is best for you and your family
In sickness and in health 'till death do us part. No, I would not leave him. I would discuss this with him. Support him and have him seek help from a doctor. Good luck to you! 'Til death do us part' is a vow and it's great that you are trying to hold to it. But your first priority in life is YOU and you KIDS. If he is unemployed and doing drugs w/ no hope of stopping you have to do what is best for your family as a whole. Do you want your kids around drugs dealers (his 'friend') and users?
If he is not contributing anything to your household and is an addict then the man you married is already dead. You should do everything you can to get him help.have an intervention, move, threaten, etc. But as long as you are supporting him he has no reason to quit using and get a job. You are acting like an ENABLER by allowing him to act this way.
The only way for him to realize how big a deal this is what he is doing to you and your kids is to lose you guys, then he will have regret enough to get clean.
For example:Tell him that once he has been clean and sober for 6 months you will let him see the kids again. Then after 1 year you will go on dates with him again. After 2 years he can move back in to the house (if he has a job, any job). This will keep him motivated and goal oriented.
He doesn't deserve you if he isn't willing to be your partner. He is not keeping his side of the vow ( he promised to love and support you, to honor you and keep you.he is not honoring you or your family this way), thus the contract is null and void and you are no longer expected to keep your vow. I found out my husband was using cocaine and I left him. Very good choice. He degenerated to crack and who knows what else. He ruined his career and lost everything he had including friends and family.
I, on the other hand, completed a graduate degree and remarried a wonderful.drug-free.man.
For better or for worse does not include some things like drugs, severe alcoholism and abuse. Better to live alone with dignity.
More Questions and Answers
- How does one break themselves out of a destructive patern?
- how can i increase self confidence towards my clients for positive buiness?
- Obsessive behaviour. Why do I have a fear of my loved one travelling.?
- when your on a medicine ssri or benzo?
- Bipolar or cyclothmia?
- My anxiety issuesplease help.?
- Help trying to get to a psychiatrist.?
- Does this sound like I am bi-polar?