How to deal with rape without proper counselling? and how to get over the guilt?

Question:

It has been 10 years since i was raped. I'vnt told this to anyone, except to my ex husband. I told him about it before we got married but even then he blamed me for it afterwards. Same reason he divorced me though he knew before. Now I blame myself even more. I want to go for counselling but am too scared that my family would find out. I belong to an asian family. I blame myself for telling my husband. He said that if i get married again i should keep it a seccret. The reason i'm saying all this here is coz it is totally annonymous here. Will i ever get over the guilt? is there any way i can get over it with out counselling ?without any one knowing about it? I also have a child so dont want him to know about this incident.

Answers:
most rape victims get blamed, even by the people we least expect it from.
i would say your case is diferent though due to your husbands potential religion, like in a muslim religion i think they see rape as making the women less of a women or something.
but saying that guilt and shame plays a big part in almost every rape victim, wether its been put there by someone else or not.
i kept it from my family for almost 5 years cos i felt embarrased and ashamed, and at the time it happened i wasnt close to any of my family. they found out about six months ago, i asked my husband to tell them for me cos the sectret had tormented me for to long. having my parents no was like a massive weight lifted.
if you keep it to your self for to long the burdon of it can prolong the pain. even if you feel your family wont understand find a close friend or even try ringing the rape crisis line, its confidential and they are soo easy to talk to.
i have the same problem as with you when it comes talking about whats happend to me, but you have to force yourself, its easy on here cos no one can put a face to you, just like speaking on the phone to the rape crisis team.
i did for the first time last year and was plesantly supprised at how easy i could open up to them, they put no presure on you and let you say what you want in your own time.
getting over rape is a long slow proccess and thats probably mainly due to the trauma of it.
it will be very hard to accomlish on your own. ring the rape crisis or go to your GP, and your family and son will never need to no, if thats what you want.

Go to counseling. Your family doesn't have to find out. IF you decide to tell your family though, they may end up being a great source of support.

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How to deal with rape without proper counselling? and how to get over the guilt?

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