Bipolar relationship dynamics. with wife, and kids??

Question:

My husband bipolar and sometimes I feel that this isn't worth all the extra work. He has put me through so much in the past (emotional and physical pain) during "episodes". I wonder if I am doing more harm than good to our children by staying with him because he doesn't always deal with them appropriately. He is on meds but he still has "episodes" and it is so hard on me. Help. I have to know if this is worth all of the heartache and extra work. I feel like a single mom with 3 kids, not just the 2 i really have.

Answers:
I'm bipolar & if my wife & kids would leave me I would feel bad. Now I don't have any rage or really bad episodes. All you have to do is go to therapy ever week & learn cognitive behavior to detect when the episodes are starting then use the tools & strategies that you learn from your therapist & I don' t get way out crazy. Identify when your getting upset & snuff out the fire. I know hundreds of people who do it. So if they all can do it, your husband can do it. Group therapy is great also. I love therapy because the alternative is shitty. You guys have kids, you love each other, nobody said life will be easy, so send him to therapy & adjust his medications but if he hits you or the kids get the hell out of there. Just tell him you'll be back after he goes to therapy & learns to control himself. If he needs to go to jail then to the Mental Hospital that's what it takes for some people. Tough love. You have to be strong & consistent. Remember anything worth having is worth working for. I am now on Social Security Disability, & before I was on welfare so don't tell me it can't be done because I did it. I now go to community College part time & the state govt. Rehabilitation pays for it. So , Just do it! Good luck.

Other Answers:
wow

I think you need to soul search pet.

If you don't love him as it would sound in what you have written divorce him.NO one needs to go through that unless they want to, and if you dont want that then by all means.leave him, take your kids and be a good mommy!

I don't think that that is a good environment for your children and for yourself. It isn't doing anything good for your children. You are the only one who can decide whether you should stay or leave. Ask yourself this, do you love him? Do you think it's worth it?

wow ! u have my sympath & respect both. Well answer is simple do u love him enough if u do than it is worth it if not then u know what to do .I feel once in a while life througs a curve ball but u have to face it have to play the game.As far as him trating u r kids go talk to his doctor coz it is definatly not good for kids may be he needs therpy & that can help him.

Does he tell his doctor he is still having episodes? I'm bipolar too and I am still getting my meds adjusted so that I'm free of symptoms. I completely know where you are coming from. I can't imagine someone caring for me when I am "sick". I'm sure that taking care of him is a huge strain but please know it can get better. Once the meds get adjusted and he is stable you will see a huge personality change. You will be happy you stuck it out. Good Luck.

I go through the same thing with my husband, though I know that mine isn't taking a high enough dose of either of his medications. It sounds like you might need to think about couples therapy and going to his appointments with him. My mother-in-law does that with my step-father-in-law. She told me that I should talk to my husband's doctor and get him to raise the dose of Ritalin and the mood stabilizer he is taking, but my husband at least at first would not take the upped meds because he would know that I had gone behind his back and talked with his doctor on the suggestion of his mother. Maybe he needs a higher dose of his meds or a different kind of his body is becoming accustomed to the meds he is on now. Or even try therapy on his own at first. There are ways of managing it, plus as hard as it is on you, he is probably a lot better off with you around than being on his own.
Guys generally have this thing about not taking pills unless they are made to take them or if we nag them enough to take them, if there is no one around to nag or make sure they take their pills properly, many just don't take them at all. Some kind of macho thing I believe.

There is some good info here.
Source(s):
http://www.bipolar-disorder.jims-info.com/

I am bi-polar and it puts my husband through hell! I know there are times where he'd probably like to say "screw this" and leave me with our two kids. But he knows that I need him. And your husband needs you! If he is taking his meds, that's good. Al he will still have episodes, I do. But he not only needs his meds, but a good support system, his doctor, his therapist and you. I know it seems like its not worth it, but believe me, to him, you standing by him makes a world of difference.

well you knew what he was like before you got married right? and the preacher man did say ".for better or worse." right. Stick with him you might want to look in to seeing some one thou. Get his therapist to reckomend one to you. It will do you a world of good and besides i wish my mom stuck it out with my bipolar dad. Then I'd know what it might turn into if it stays unmedicated.
Source(s):
my life ain't it great

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Bipolar relationship dynamics. with wife, and kids??

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