Why do I think about suicide when I feel like god doesn't care anymore?
Question:
I got AA meetings nearly everyday, but in 3 years I have yet to make a single friend. I used to have people I thought were my friends, but they were actually my ex-girlfriend's friends.
I have severe money problems, no one to talk about them (people in AA criticize you if you do) and feel like drinking all the time. I know where that will lead me.
I cannot understand why, if god really loves me, why does he want me to be alone all the time? Is this god's will for me, suicide? Never ending lonliness?
There is going to be a party this weekend, it's my ex-girlfriends anniversary. Of course I'm not invited.
I have asked god to put someone in my life this weekend. I'm willing to be patient and wait until then. If I leave my Saturday AA meeting alone again, I will have my answer and I plan to hang myself.
People keep telling me to join a church.
Answers:
NOOOOOO! Stop right now!! Where is killing yourself going to get you? Call a psychiatrist/psychologist and explain to them what you are feeling. I have suffered serious bouts of depression myself. I take medication for it (celexa, to be exact) and it has helped me tremendously. Maybe you need a change of medication. But DON'T EVER think about killing yourself. Pleaseeeeeeeeeee!! For the record, my father commited suicide 20 some years ago. He also felt he had nothing to live for. What good did it do him? Think about it!! He's buried and life went on. It was the hardest thing for us, his family, to deal with! I know for a fact that when someone talks about doing it, they will. You have to get this out of your mind....STOP NOW!! Get on the phone with a psychiatrist who maybe can prescribe the right meds for you. You have friends, even though you might not think you do. You have lots of friends on here that will try and help you. Go into a chat room for depression. You will find out that lots of other people feel the same as you. It will help you. But first...and foremost....talk to a doctor! Please!! I'll be praying for you. Remember, depression is not a crime.....it's a chemical imbalance. PLEASE.....GET HELP NOW!!! And don't ever believe God doesn't care....he does...more than you realize!!
Other Answers:
You should NEVER try and kill yourself. God put you on the earth to live life to the fullest, not to end it when it's not your time. Sure things look bad right now, but they will get better. Focus on passing your AA meetings and then start to meet new people to become friends with, and maybe more. As for now, your AA meeting is more important. You need to help yourself with that before anything else. You also have family who loves you, do you really want to hurt them by ending your life? There's people out there that care, so don't think so negative
Well first of all, Stop blaming God. You put yourself in that position and you can get out of it. You just need to get off your *** and go out there! Meet people, go to the store, the movies, a restaurant and if that doesn't work, get a second job until u feel like you've made some sucess within yourself. I've helped people stop suicide and yes it is a long battle. God does not want anyone to be alone but thats the choice you made. You have to turn around and do something about it. You may ask for help but it may come in a short or long term run. Get over ur ex gf, find someone who wants to be with you.
You do not need to join a church, thats the choice you make. Don't go off on a suicide mission because from what they say, if you do, you can be reincarnated and end up back in the same life only tougher. I know some people who can balance your mind, body and soul. You need to try taking a class.. at a college, u can meet new peple out there. Give that a try. Why not?
Fell free to im me but i have afeeling ur alot older than i am considering that I'm only 25.
don't blame it on God...he does everything for a reason...you may feel like your going though hell right now but it will work out in the end, for the good....and i understand what your going though exactly i've been there myself, not with the alcohol but i'm lonely my self, but you have to keep the faith and keep praying that god will send someone into your life .... it will happen it may be tomorrow or 5 years from now... god will come through just have faith and patience
Life is difficult. I fight everyday. Mabye you are asking for help in the wrong places.
If you want a friend start talking to people! Just say hi and how are you and blah blah. Tell them that you are lonely just be honest. And you want a friend! Try another AA meeting elsewhere where no one knows you! Please don't waste your life. Think about who this will affect. More people than you could imagine. Co workers, family, AA. You are here for a reason. There are hotlines to call but they might lock you up. I will pray for you just dont GIVE UP!
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