I'm very sad and my heart hurts. Will somone say something to make me feel better?? Maybe a joke or advice?

Question:

Answers:
I hope you feel better soon.
Remember~Where there is life--there is hope.

Other Answers:
A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned
on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it
starts."
She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.
When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's
gonna start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a
beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer
before it starts."
"That's it!" She blows her top. "You bastard! You waltz in here,
flop your fat *** down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me
to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean
and wash and iron all day long??"

The husband sighed. "Oh ****, it's started."

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they
were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna
promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim
out.

When the medical director became aware of Edna's heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Edna the news he said, "Edna, I have good news and
bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able
to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindness. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."

Read some of the questions and responses people post on this site! Some of them are hilarious! Sometimes, I just read people's responses to questions - I actually sent one person a message because his response made me LMAO!

For jokes: This chipmunk went into a bar and.....

listen to the REM song Everybody Hurts
powerful

well i was at mc donalds with my friends and we were making fun of the guy who took our orders...we were yelling at him and were like "YOUR TOO SLOW SO WE ARENT GUNNA EAT HERE!!" and then when we were leaving i yelled to him "you arent that slow!! in fact i think your on your way to becoming maneger!!" i hope that makes u feel better cuz i know what a hurting heart feels like

most of the times you know why you are sad and you also know you don't want to do anything to solve it or advance on it, but there are other times when you have a physical disorder and it could be cured, With this i mean that our cervical nerves sometimes get out of balance and going to a therapist with experience in it can help. Sadness is the opposite of happiness so thank God you have felt also happiness and soon you will feel it again.

I'm feeling the same way right now but I usually think of all the people who have it much worse off than me and I can feel a little better. I have to send my son for three or four months of rehab and it's going to break my heart to not see him for that length of time. How's that?

There was an old lady standing on the deck of her cruise ship when a parrot from a passing pirate ship flew over and landed on the railing next to her. The lady looked at the parrot and the parrot asked her, "Hey lady, how's your ***?" The lady was shocked and said, "Shut up!" The parrot responded, "Mine too, must be the salt air," and then flew away.

your eyes are too blue and too pretty to be so sad, little dear...

So I said to my girl with the wooden leg .....

Peg

On Joy & Sorrow
Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."

And he answered:

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

On Houses
Then a mason came forth and said, "Speak to us of Houses."

And he answered and said:

Build of your imaginings a bower in the wilderness ere you build a house within the city walls.

For even as you have home-comings in your twilight, so has the wanderer in you, the ever distant and alone.

Your house is your larger body.

It grows in the sun and sleeps in the stillness of the night; and it is not dreamless. Does not your house dream? And dreaming, leave the city for grove or hilltop?

Would that I could gather your houses into my hand, and like a sower scatter them in forest and meadow.

Would the valleys were your streets, and the green paths your alleys, that you might seek one another through vineyards, and come with the fragrance of the earth in your garments.

But these things are not yet to be.

In their fear your forefathers gathered you too near together. And that fear shall endure a little longer. A little longer shall your city walls separate your hearths from your fields.

And tell me, people of Orphalese, what have you in these houses? And what is it you guard with fastened doors?

Have you peace, the quiet urge that reveals your power?

Have you remembrances, the glimmering arches that span the summits of the mind?

Have you beauty, that leads the heart from things fashioned of wood and stone to the holy mountain?

Tell me, have you these in your houses?

Or have you only comfort, and the lust for comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house a guest, and becomes a host, and then a master?

Ay, and it becomes a tamer, and with hook and scourge makes puppets of your larger desires.

Though its hands are silken, its heart is of iron.

It lulls you to sleep only to stand by your bed and jeer at the dignity of the flesh. It makes mock of your sound senses, and lays them in thistledown like fragile vessels.

Verily the lust for comfort murders the passion of the soul, and then walks grinning in the funeral.

But you, children of space, you restless in rest, you shall not be trapped nor tamed.

Your house shall be not an anchor but a mast.

It shall not be a glistening film that covers a wound, but an eyelid that guards the eye.

You shall not fold your wings that you may pass through doors, nor bend your heads that they strike not against a ceiling, nor fear to breathe lest walls should crack and fall down.

You shall not dwell in tombs made by the dead for the living.

And though of magnificence and splendour, your house shall not hold your secret nor shelter your longing.

For that which is boundless in you abides in the mansion of the sky, whose door is the morning mist, and whose windows are the songs and the silences of night.

That's by Kahlil Gibran.

Be well, take a walk in the sunshine if you can. Pause and notice the beauty in nature. Hold on to hope for change is the only constant we know and this too shall pass.

12 Ways to Lighten Up

Approaching your life with a non-serious attitude gives you a clearheaded view of difficulties and the energy to deal with them. Problems are easier to solve, people are more cooperative and you feel more relaxed. You probably live longer and more successfully as well.

Try these techniques until you find one that lightens you up.

1. Deliberately turn a molehill into a mountain. Make a big deal out of a little problem. "I would feel much better if these papers were stacked exactly like this! Not like that! Like this! Not this! This!"

2. Ask yourself, "Is getting serious about this situation really going to improve it?"

3. Focusing on the positives. Repeat these questions until you feel lighter, "What is right about this picture?" "What else is right?" "What else?"

4. Consider a complete, major change. Why not go back to school? Why not move to Idaho? Why not retire for a few years or start a new career?

5. Ask yourself, "When I’m on my deathbed, will I be glad I was so serious about _______?"

6. A challenging game is much better than no game at all. So consider losing all aspects of the problem. Examples: You feel serious about family problems. You ask yourself, "Well, what if I had no family at all?" You feel serious about your investments. You ask yourself, "What if I had no money to invest?"

7. The size of your problem may match the size of your game. So get a bigger game. For example, if you get uptight about paper clips being in the wrong drawer, your game size is tiny. Double your amount of responsibility. Set some huge goals. Succeed by thinking much, much bigger.

8. Stop trying to solve the problem that is making you so serious. Certain types of problems solve themselves if you leave them alone. Your problem may be one of those.

9. Compare what you are doing to other careers. Imagine being a septic tank drainer or an IRS agent.

10. Make everyone around you lighten up. You will soon feel more cheerful.

11. Look at bizarre solutions. What is the craziest way you could solve your problem? What solution, if it worked, would make you laugh out loud?

12. Act stupid for a minute. Let down your hair. Stop being so darn important for a while. Be a goof!

We've all had a time when we are sad and our heart aches. Trust that time will ease the pain and things will look up soon enough and when you least expect it. Try doing things that make you feel good: whether its a long bubble bath or getting lost in a good book or a mani and pedi.. it doesnt matter as long as for a moment your heart soars!! If after some time you are still very sad all the time, consider talking to your doctor about it. He/She can give you some options. There is no shame in reaching out for help with something you cant overcome yourself. Take Care sweetheart.

I'm not very good with jokes but I'll give it a try just for you :)

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”

(Sorry to any blondes I may offend.. its the only joke I could think of)

here's a joke for you....how do you get your ex-boyfriend out of a tree?

hope you feel better! smile !

It is not a bad thing to feel sad. When a love one dies or a break up with a bf or gf, etc., one should be sad. Do not fight the feeling. At least you can admit that you are sad. However, we never experienced sadness who would we know happiness? It is all part of the journey.

I don't give advice well....maybe I do. Im sorry you hurt I know how that feels. I have felt that way on many occassions. I get sad and to compensate I tend to try to over compensated with obserd behavior. My Doctor says I'm a great actor. I tell her I'm one signature away from the nut house but she still wont sign. Oh well. I'll be praying for you thats about the best I can do..go talk with your Doctor and get the help you need. Good luck.

Sometimes it helps to write things down, for instance a journal. Or you could listen to some of your favorite music that makes you happy. Then, you can always look around and see that you are not the only one in pain and maybe there are areas of your life where you are more fortunate than others. But all of these are just ideas, I hope your pain subsides soon.

will you marry me? try going out for walks. if you see a guy on the street you like flirt with him. flirting helps the heart. try singing, laughing, eat chocolate, try a new outfit, talk to me dogmicjoe@yahoo.com. send a postcard to yourself. postcards.org. pamper yourself and take warm bath listening to soft music.

why are you so sad?? my advise would be get ou of the house and walk or some kind of exercise. also talking witha friend you trust can their take on the situation can help!

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I'm very sad and my heart hurts. Will somone say something to make me feel better?? Maybe a joke or advice?

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