How do I get rid of this guilt?

Question:

I told my grandmother that I'd go spend the night at her house and play cards some time and she was very excited about it. That was at Easter. The only time I've been able to get my sorry butt there have been holidays, and I missed a couple of those too. I love my grandmother alot, even though I couldn't seem to get myself there alot. Now she is in the hospital fighting for her last breaths.the doctors said it is just a matter of time. She is so doped up, that she doesn't know what's going on can barely breathe. I wanted to go to the hospital to tell her that I loved her and that I'm so sorry but my mother says she doesn't look good and I probably shouldn't go. I expressed my feelings to her, but she said holding the guilt will do me no good, and to let it go. But I can't! I feel so bad, and guilty, and now she's dying and I will never have the chance! What can I do?

Answers:
This is a very personal decision that you have to make. My grandmother passed when I was 12. She lived with us and had really bad emphysema. She got really bad off and was put in the hospital. I visited her once and she seemed like her normal self. A day or two later she took a turn for the worse. My mother wouldn't let me or my 14 year old sister go visit her because she wanted us to remember her full of life and not hooked up to machines and incoherent. It's been 20 years since and I'm still really torn and bitter about her decision to do that. One one hand I wanted to say good bye but then I wonder if I would have wanted to see her in that state. So remember your grandmother loves you and whatever you decide to do she would support it. She wouldn't want you to feel guilty.

Other Answers:
Go. It's now or never.

Go to the hospital and tell your grandmother how you feel. She will know no matter how doped up she . This is the one time I would ignore my mom. This is between you and your grandmother and at this point you both need it. Go, now

Just get there. You can't really change the past. Just go there and see her.

Go and visit her, whisper to her ear how much you love her, do it now while you still have that chance, I never get that chance with my Dad

Don't feel guilty about that. I'm sure she understands you cause you are young and probably you have other priorities sometimes. Don't blame yourself. You could there you could get there. Your grandmother understand. I promise. Just let her go.

she could hear you reguardless of the medication. i lost both my parents both were on life support , believe me they can hear you if you talk to them.

You've got to go and tell her, or you will never get over the guilt. You will carry it around forever. Go, and just let everything come out when you get there. Good luck.

Guilt usually stops action. Now that you know, let her last moments be of how grandson AT her side. So go or else you will spend the rest of your life feeling guilty that you let guilt stop you from spending time with her. Go and see her, you dont want to later think WHAT IF she could hear me?! youll regret it once shes gone. Suck up how you feel about seeing her while shes not looking good and go do this for her, think of her. God bless!

Oh, honey; look, your grandma would *not* want you to to dwell now would she? Well, feeling guilty never pushed anyone to the top of the world. For the good of society and the family move onwards and upwards. Never look back; only look forward to the good that you can do for society. And give yourself a nice wage as you're going along- it's proper.

Your Mom is just trying to protect you from seeing your Gran in a bad way. For your sake and peace of mind you need to go and make things right in your head with your Gran. Even though your Gran does not hate you or feel bad about you not getting over to see her more. As you grow older you remember what is is like to be young and you realize young people are very active and involved in their own lives and do not mean to be distant but this is the way life is. Your gran new this and cherished the times she did see you. But you still need to go make your peace, if you don't you will feel like this for the rest of your life.
Source(s):
A mom who kept her young ones from seeing their grandad before he died.

Go to the hospital. It's now or never. If you choose to speak to your grandmother don't talk about all the things you are sorry about. Talk about memories you do have. Dying alone is the Pitts! Go and be there during her transition. Guilt is an excuse for non action!

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How do I get rid of this guilt?

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