Have you ever said goodbye to a bipolar person?

Question:

because you just can't handle the emotional rollercoaster anymore? I might have to do this but it's also killing me because he's been a good friend for so long. I feel guilty!! My head hurts. He's telling me I'M difficult to talk to (but he's always talked TO ME in the past when no one else understood him). I've tried my hardest - he got mad when I told him about differents meds, etc. -- told me to stop the sh** about bipolar- he doesn't want to deal with it at all. NO MEDS. I have NO "control" over him at all - nor am I close with his family. Just him. He's turning his back on me. What happens is then I back off and then he comes around again after the fact. It's almost like a childish game. I never had to work so hard at a friendship before and it's starting to become humliating to me. It's been a long friendship. I feel so guilty.

Answers:
What kind of friend are you? Do you hate the guy?
I have bipolar depression, and everyone I know it seems has done the same - left me. It makes me want to leave myself too.
How could he control suicidal thoughts when everyone around him shows him, by their actions, that yes, he should knock himself off? He needs to take medication, but I understand why he doesn't want to. My meds save my life, though. I take them every day at exactly the same time. He should do the same.
What you need to do is be strong and prove that you are stronger than his bipolar disease. Don't leave him, please, for the love of all that is good about you, don't turn you back on him.
If you don't like fighting with him, just tell him "I'm not going to play your games and fight with you. If you start fighting, I'm leaving. You can talk to me when you are done talking about your depression. I like the real you." Please don't hurt him, he has hurt enough.

Other Answers:
I vote just let it fizzle gently. I just wrote off a friend who's like this today. I did it more bluntly, but he's going overseas in a few months so it's a bit easier. I'd say just let the friendship fade over time. People like that will only cause you emotional damage.

I actually had the exact same thing with my ex wife. you shouldn't feel bad if he's not willing to take his meds. if he's not willing to help himself you need to get out of there it's going to be more detrimental to you if you don't. Also to answer your last question he's not fine now nor will he be when you leave, he's only going to be bearable if he takes his meds.

I know EXACTLY what you're going through. I'm sure he would be okay if you just let the friendship go, and you may have to do just that to save your sanity.
My best friend was bipolar and she drove me crazy. She was always putting high demands on our friendship, getting frustrated if I spent too much time with someone else, giving me ultimatums about what I had to do in order to not lose our friendship.
It was nuts. Finally, for the sake of my own sanity, I had to just stop talking to her. I did, and while I sort of regret that we're not friends anymore, I don't regret that I have way less stress in my life and solid friendships (more than one) that I wouldn't have been able to maintain otherwise.
Good luck, you can do it.

Maybe not. I have a friend married to a bipolar woman. It's not easy. Some time these people go through these episodes where they can control how they feel, or sometimes even think. If he's not willing to take his med.s he's just in denial. Just back off for awhile when he gets better he'll be back around. Don't do anything you'll regret. When he's better he will remember how much you cared for him, and will appreciate it greatly. I'm sure most of the people in his life have not been able to deal with his condition, and remain a true friend through think and thin like you have. Maybe he's a part of your life for a reason.

If this friendship is causing you pain, you need to let him go. He needs to take responsibility for his own behavior and his own medical treatment. A bipolar person absolutely MUST be on medication if he is going to be able to function in the world. The only person you have control over is YOURSELF. If he gets snotty with you because you tell him about meds, then he will learn the hard way.

As far as asking will he be okay if you terminate the friendship, I say yes. Maybe it will light a fire under his butt to actually go get help and take responsibility for his life and his health.

I am bipolar... if my boyfriend left me for THAT reason, it would kill me to no end... but in then end I would understand why he left. I KNOW it's hard for people to deal with my (as you call it) emotional rollercoaster, but it would hurt me sooo bad if he left simply because he couldn't stand to deal with me... but if it's hurting you, he should understand. I would. End the friendship if you can't deal, you shouldn't have to put up with or go throw anything you don't want too... life is too short for that.

I had to say goodbye to a bipolar person myself. It was one of the most difficult things I had even done.

She was lots of fun when she was riding the up wave. but when she was on the down side it nothing was too good for her. Plus she dated a friend behind my back , which wasn't good.

I read a little about people who are bipolar and found out that when they are on the upside they feel they don't need the med's but when they come down it's too late to start taking the med's . this makes it even worse.

I asked her about her taking her med's also but she went ballistic on me as well.

It was the only relationship that ended very badly. Most of my ex g/f's are still friends with me to this day.

You have to do what is best for you , I know it's hard , but it seems it is wearing thin on you.

Mind you I am not Dr. Phil so my advice could mean nothing

Good Luck with your decision

yes, i have and i understand what you are going through

it was a long friendship also, and she didn't take her meds and would get angry at me for stupid reasons and then apologize and blame it on her illness

i finally told her (and when i told her she was in a 'high', but it was a very mean high) that i could not maintain being her friend because it was too much work for me.....it was always a worry & it was all work on my part.

it was very difficult, but you can not let your life be ruled by harmful relationships

My husband is bipolar and I know what you are going Thur as far as not taking his meds and being ill all the time... We fight all the time when he does not take his meds, but when he does take his meds we are okay. I have learned to just let him be, or throw his fits. He is usually okay in a few minutes. I do have to stay on him all the time about meds. You just put your foot down and let him know that if he doesn't take his meds you will leave! or not be around him any more...I really wish you luck. I can really relate to you....

It is a very turbulent, roller coaster ride... I was on one for 12 years...My X husband... he became very violent and started beating on me... Don't ever feel guilty... there is nothing you can do... They always try to make you feel guilty when all your trying to do is help... don't.... they can only help themselves, you can't...... So save yourself alot of grief and just slowly back off of the friendship, especially if he doesn't take his med's..... good luck sweetie, it doesn't mean that your a bad person just a smart one....

I think you have a little more than Bipolar going on. The keywords for me were "can't control him". This sounds like he may even have a few codependency problems. You have to give him his control back. Bipolars and people with codependency problems like to give up control to others and then be resentful that they gave up their control.
It will be work on both parts but worth it in the end. If you don't feel you can achieve this than it is better you leave.

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Have you ever said goodbye to a bipolar person?

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