what do you do when you find out your freind is cutting herself?
Question:
Answers:
if ur friend is cutting herself infron of u, then u try to stop her, or u freak out......
Other Answers:
give her bandaids?
her parents need to be told. They will be the ones who will have to take her to the counselor or whatever.
Maybe your friend could go to a counselor outside of school??
But i still think the parents will have to be contackted if she is under 18.
Call your city or county child protective office, and let them know about her situation. You can let them know these things without identifying yourself, if you want.
I say still go to the school counselor. Ask them who you should go to since they don't care.
I'm not exactely sure about this but I am pretty sure that I heard that when people cut themselves that it is a cry for help...so find out what is going on in her life....stress, problems, depression...and try to help the best you can....but make sure you tell her that it is not all right to cut herself and that you care about her and don't want to see her hurt....make it known to her that she matters to people in this world and that you want her around for a very long time....
hmmmm, well if i was in this situation this is what i would do. first, i would sit her down and talk about it. tell her you're there for her and she isn't alone (and also tell her that you would be devastated if she died). stay in touch and talk to her alot. it would also be good if you two signed up for something together (sports, theatre, whatever you two like). that will get her mind off of depression, and she'll realize that she has friends she can depend on. hope it works out :)
call a hotline for mental health- you can find it online. If you see her doing it call 911.
In that situation I can't tell you what you should do. If you are a good friend of her's confront her and tell her whats up. Tell her you are concerened, just a thought.
I guess I told you what you should do... oh well
O.K. Talk to her and tell her it bothers you and you would like her to stop cutting herself.
I have been trying to deal with this with someone I have known for 5 years and it is very hard all you can do is try and get them to tell you why they do this also show them some compassion when talking to them and let them know that you care
if your friend is being abused by her parents then that would be the only real people who could help her and since they can't or wont then i think you should call dcfs and have them take her out and get her counseling but continue to see her, let her know that she still has someone who cares about her. and keep up with where she goes. stay there for her. she already has no adults who care im pretty sure she doens't want to lose her only friend too.
first of all, here's a website and phone number:
www.selfinjury.com
1-800-DONTCUT (at least i think its 1-800)
now go there and read that. it'll help you understand that sometimes it's hard to just say "ok, no more". it's a certain sense of comfort and an escape. it's like a security blanket. it's hard to give up. sometimes it requires the help of somebody else. after you go to that site and read it, tell her that you really need her to be honest about it and it might be painful, but she needs to do it. cutting don't always mean that she wants to die, but it can (sometimes accidently) lead to that. explain that to her and let her know that you need her so she can't let this go on until she does end up killing herself. show her the website and encourage her to try to quit. this may mean taking away a knife or razor that she cuts with. ask her to let you hold it until she's doing better and tell her to talk to you anytime she feels like cutting.
there's also a show on WE called "the secret lives of women" and there's one episode called "cutters". keep your eye out for it, it may help you understand how to help her better. hope that helps and i'm glad she has a friend like you to help her though it.
Abuse, hate, neglect. Very much understandable as to why she is acting out.
Go to the school counselors yourself and tell them the situation. This girl is screaming for help and you might be her only help.
Sometimes people put up walls. Not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to tear them down.....
Try to help her, please!
Follow Stinky2 advice
I am a psych nurse, people cut because they have been hurt so much they block out the pain and they cut to see if they can feel anything, this is way beyond the laymans ability to help, as often they will cut a vital area and die or be maimed. Please Please tell someone, a parent, minister or Dr. this person needs professional help, badly
Call the 911 or u gotta go to the nearest mental hospital and tell them,,and they will help her out...DO NOT BE LATE..IT IS SERIOUS.
you have to be there for her on a deep level..go to her and tell her you know her secret...and just listen to her...give her advice...listen to her cry, cry with her whatever..all im saying is that someone needs to address the problem..i speak from experience..people who cut are begging for someone to care..begging for someone to notice and help because things have gotten way to far out of hand in their hearts and minds..let her know your always there for her..and do more then just say it..show it..try telling one of ur parents about how ur friend is abused..sit with ur mom or something and explain everything to her start to finish..she wont think your lying..do your best to communicate with ur mom on a person to person basis..if u get out of the thought that ur mom and u cant tcommunicate..and u just try leveling with her things shoyuld all work out..good luck about your friend..its a very sad sad situation..and i hope she sees through it..ill pray for both of you.
ok, you have been getting a lot of great advice, but as i have and am a cutter i would like to put in some advice from personal experiences and what i have researched.
Ok, first off you should try to get some professional help, call someone, tell the counselors, ask a priest for help, any adult that you can trust. If she is being abused by her parents (not just the normal teen arguments and stuff) then you probably shouldn't tell them cause they might 'punish' her or something.
ok, now for what you personally can do. you need to talk to her about it, in a private situation where you can listen to her. It's likely she has hidden this for some time and is bursting at the seams to explain why she is doing this. Make sure that you let her know that you are there for her if she needs to talk or whatever (like if she feels the urge she can call you or something). Make sure you DON'T get angry at her, and don't attack her or anything. She may get deffensive and believe no one cares (that happened to me) and she might even get deeper into it. Also don't tell her that she has to stop cause it is bothering you or something. Cutting can become an addiction and you can't just stop it, so if you tell her she has to that just puts pressure on everyone and make it harder. You need to let her know that you will help her through this.
Also, this one is kinda weird, if you talk to her and she says how she hurts herself (knife, razor, scissors, whatever) don't take what she uses away from her. This sounds really wierd, but please just listen. Its been proven that if you take away thier 'tool' things will only get worse. Cutters use cutting for many reasons, such as feeling they are alive, to ground themselves (for if they start to dissociate or lose touch with the world), to get a release (pain releases endorphines which calms the person down and make them feel better and stuff), to express thier pain, any number of reasons. so, if you take what they use away they will feel lost and will NEED the release (imagine taking drugs away from a druggie cold turkey. it doesnt work) also, cutters often find alternatives to what they usually use, they will use nails, pens, finger nail files, etc.... and they often cut worse than before. so yeah, you can find this on other sites if you research. a cool site about cutting is recoveryourlife.com it has alot of self harmers on it (it has a message board and chat room) but it also has info for those trying to help others and stuff. sorry for writing so much, sorry if it didn't help any. well, i hope that something works out. fell free to email me at juleeandsarah@yahoo.com if you have any questions or if you just need to talk or whatever. good luck!
Write a letter, to her parents, the head of school, her tutor, your doctor, her doctor if u know him, and ure local hospital, and the local police.. make sure you put cc on the letters, so they all know that the others have been told.
Tell them u think shes suicidal/self harming. Include your and her contact details.
If that doesnt make them do something, they have no fear of media attention.
If the police/school/doctors dont act, and she does commit suicide. They would get in a hella trouble. Force them :)
ask her why she is doing it, I am betting that it has to due with the fact that her parents abuse her, she is crying for attention, find out if you can help, if you can't go to your school couselor yourself, they know about stuff like this, it is very common and they can help..please do this.
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