Besides counselling, what do you suggest/advice? Should she stay with him?

Question:

My bestfriend's boyfriend has Bipolar. Lets call her Kelly and him Owen. Kelly is in her early 20s and Owen in his late 20s. They have been together about 14months and its been an on & off relationship. I think they broke up about 2-3 times. Anyone who is familiar with Bipolar will know that the person can be depressed for day(s). Currently Owen is unemployed & has been for a couple of months. Kelly does help with his rent payment every now and again & sometimes other expenses too. Owen may go for days without calling/seeing Kelly & she is the one that mostly rings him. His excuse is that he is too depressed etc. I know I shouldn't call it an excuse & I understand its a serious illness. When they break up, they remain friends & get back together again. She gets upset when he doesn't ring/see her. I tell her that it isn't just Owen that we are dealing with but it is his illness as well but sometimes ya know..U jus haf 2 wonder..is it really? I am lost on how to advice her.

Answers:
That's a hard question. Bipolar people need love and supportive friends, that's for sure. My mother married a bipolar man, my father. My brother was recently told he is bipolar. I have a son who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. So you know it is passed on, but not in all cases.

There are 3 types of bi-polar and they all suck. My moods used to swing so much I couldn't call people or see people. Now that I am on meds I function normally. I also have been to counseling to learn how to deal with and anticipate my manic or depressive episodes. My advice to her would be to try to get him help. The truth is that having untreated or under medicated bi-polar disorder is so bad that you cannot deal with anything else well. His life is probably a living hell and it will be until he gets effective help. Her life will be extremely affected by his illness. It is the cause of their on again off again status.

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Besides counselling, what do you suggest/advice? Should she stay with him?

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