Tired of trying?

Question:

Each day stretches before me, a sea of misery
The pain of the past- I've tried to run from it, hide from it, forget it, forgive it, bleed it out, starve it away, look at it and try to understand it, learn from it- never seems to lessen, it torments me
I feel hopeless, like I have nothing to give, that all is wasted, that love is in vain, that the good days are too few to provide the strength that I need to face all the darkness attacking my soul.
I'm so ashamed of everything I have done- the lies I've told, the people I've hurt, my own weakness.
I feel like it never stops, that each good time is a cruelness that just serves to make the bitterness more harsh.
I've survived for well over 15 years riding this rollercoaster of despair, I'm on meds, been through countless treatment programs, I see shrinks, I do everything I'm supposed to, and all the work leaves me no better off. Alas, alas.

Answers:
I'm truly sorry you feel this way. I wish there was something I could say or do to make you feel better. I will say this, remember no matter what you have done(or think you have done), there is always some body out there that loves you.

i agree, you read my mind

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