Anger issues....?
Question:
I used to have really bad anger issues, I was 12 when it started to show i'd fight with anyone and explode about just anything I mean it was the insane type of anger and finally my father got me some help and my anger eased up around the age of 14 and I felt happy and normal again. Well recently about a year ago (19 years old) my anger started to pop up again I mean I just cant control my temper I dont act out or anything anymore I just have so much rage in my head and all my thoughts are horrable. I talked to a doctor about it and he said he wanted to put me on a bunch of meds and I said what if I was just to go to a therapist or something and he said no, just take a bunch of meds and you'll be fine. Does anyone else know what im going thru or have felt something similiar? If you need more info to answer my question better, than please ask. -Thanks
Answers:
The first thing you need to know about most doctors: they buy into the drug companies' view that a pill is the easiest way to "solve" everything. (Not ALL doctors, but yours sounds like he/she is totally of that mind). NOT GOOD! I'd find a new doc AND a therapist! There are many ways to control anger and one is finding out WHY you are so angry (you may have to go into your past...were you abused, put down, did you witness anger as a "solution" to problems?). Through traditional ("psychodynamic therapy"), I learned, among other things, that my mother's angry outbursts taught me to shout first (or pound somebody) and ask questions later! It might "fly" when you're a kid but you could end up in jail when you're an adult...or even before that!
Then you might need to switch therapists, because many do NOT agree about their chosen methods, but you CAN learn to control anger!
SO many people think they're "out of control", like parents do when they hit kids. But if you ask them, "Would you hit an ADULT who p***ed you off?" they almost always say no! Why not? They know they'd end up in jail, because our stupid laws favor adults over children. Still, this shows that people ARE able to control anger, unless they're psychotic or on (psychotropic) drugs.
Controlling anger is a multi-step process, which a good therapist can guide you through. Yes, meds (like mild tranquilizers) might help for now, but eventually, you'll need to deal w/your problem.
For now, there are some steps, listed at the American Psychological Association's website, that can help you control anger (I've tried them and I KNOW they work!):
"Strategies To Keep Anger At Bay
Relaxation
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.
Some simple steps you can try:
* Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
* Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
* Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
* Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation. " (1) This site also lists "cognitive restructuring" (changing the way you think) as a proven method of dealing w/anger, as well as other negative feelings and thoughts:
"Cognitive Restructuring
Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow."
Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else. "This !&*%@ machine never works," or "you're always forgetting things" are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.
Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).
Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you..."
Still another site (2) gives illustrations of anger and various ways to cope with it. It's a more "hands-on" approach that does NOT involve a therapist right away.
Still, I would advise you get some counseling ASAP and tell your doctor to take a hike! (in a non-threatening way!) :D
From one extremely angry person to another (and it doesn't necessarily vanish w/age!) : I ASSURE you that you can deal with it, if you try and keep at it.
Good luck!
Did it ever cross your mind that the doctor could be wright?
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