i know you shouldnt take peoples lives or feelings for granted especially those who say they are in love with?

Question:

you. how serious should one be if the person who you have been off and on inv w/ for 11 years says they are about to kill themselves. i mean if you have time to call someone back and tell them you are gonna do it isnt that a form of attention and control or and manipulation to make you feel for them. and you dont want to be involved any longer cause of their heavy drinking and the love is jst not there? whagt would you do? i was thinking of dialing 911 i am 2hrs away from him. and i would feel bad just like he wants me too. if he tried to hurt himself, but then i cant do anything for him. the paramedics could get there faster than i would and be able to help him

Answers:
This sounds like typical alcoholic manipulation to me.

Definitely I would call 911 and let them know he has said he was going to hurt or kill himself -- that is something they need to know and for which they have trained responders. Let the professionals decide if he is serious or not, they have the training to figure it out. The last thing you want is to not take it seriously and then find out tomorrow he really did kill himself. The second-to-last thing you want is that to take it seriously and go back to him out of fear for his safety, and then the manipulation just starts all over.

The ideal solution is that everyone gets healthy -- you get emotionally healthy and break free of the codependannt behaviors that the families and friends of alcoholics fall into without realising it, and he gets help for his addictions and breaks free of their hold on him. Who knows, he might finally become the man you WANT him to be (but don't expect this and definitely don't count on it -- be wary of manipulation for YEARS to come).

BTW, read the book "Beyond Codependancy" (I can't remember the author's name right now, but a web search will turn it up). It is really helpful in understanding the addicted mind and learning how to be responsible for yourself without opening yourself up to manipulation by those who refuse to be responsible for themselves.

ure right it is a form of attention seeking, This person needs help
he needs to contact his g.p. You need to decide for yourself whether or not you want to stay with him,because 11 years is a long time!If u decide you have had enough then tell him and make a clean break.

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i know you shouldnt take peoples lives or feelings for granted especially those who say they are in love with?

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