Is this normal?
Question:
Yesterday she was telling me that about 2 years ago she started “coloring” traffic signs in her head. As we drive she looks at the signs and imagines herself coloring them. She said if there are too many signs she invisions herself grabbing them all and putting them in a bag to take home and color later. She mentioned that she has tried to quit this habit several times but will have a panic attack and can’t control the desire to mentally color. If I drive too fast and she isn’t done coloring a sign she gets anxiety and tries to distract herself.
I’m not sure if it would be considered a real problem or just a vivid imagination. If we are having a conversation she said she doesn’t think about the signs and is able to function okay. It’s when she is quiet that she has the urge to look out the window and color.
Thank you for any suggestions.
Answers:
I knew one kid who used to "measure" everything she saw by viewing stuff through the space between her index finger and thumb. She just viewed everything through the little "focus" she created with her finger and thumb and "measured". Somewhere along the way it stopped. She did this for, maybe, a couple of years.
My daughter (at the time four/five) used to see the angles in everything. She's see angles in things like furniture and kind of trace them out. If an object had angles in its form she'd see them. After a while she just didn't comment or do anything about it.
A five-year-old boy I knew discovered that if he stayed in one place, stamped his feet while turning quickly in a circle and made a humming sound the sound he made would sound funny. He'd do this all the time to the point where it really "creeped out" his mother.
Another kid I can think of seemed compulsive about trying to "make the traffic lights change" (even though she knew she wasn't really doing it) with her mind. Every car ride, every traffic light along the way, involved her spending her energies seeing if she could make the lights change "with her mind"
My point is kids so bizarre things sometimes. Sometimes things "exercises" are just latched onto because they can seem as valid as something like throwing a ball against a wall and catching it.
It probably depends of the extent of any anxiety she feels from not being able to get back to the activity she gets some kind of thing from and whether any "off-ness" she feels is genuinely a panic attack or whether because she's a child she's calling some mild "off--ness" she feels a "panic attack". (A panic attack involves increased heart rate, having breathing problems, feeling like one may die, and other things.) The "off-ness" I describe is just an unsettled feeling that usually results in, "I don't like not doing the thing I seem to need to do, so since it isn't hurting anybody why shouldn't I do it, get rid of feeling uncomfortable, and deal with quitting later."
If if isn't interfering with her life and otherwise living normally, and if she can have a conversation and not think about them, if it were my child I think I'd wait it out. Chances are it will either decrease or increase (in which case, you'll have a better idea about whether its a problem). I think it is so important that children not be constantly evaluated by adults or have adults zeroing in on them and trying to figure out what's "wrong" with them; that I think I'd rather have a child who does what yours does (to the extent that she's doing it right now) than to allow the child to start having others imply there is something wrong with her.
Just last week on the ABC Show 20/20 they showed how simply suggesting to/telling children there is something less about them can seriously affect them.
I could be ignorant and wrong about this, but it would seem to me if your daughter in on the way to becoming a full-blown OCD person you could address it once that becomes more clear with more behavior than what she's now doing. There's something that makes me kind of think there's a good chance she's just doing one of those bizarre-ish things kids do. (Of course, as someone who has gone through the phase of stepping on all the cracks but then the phase of not stepping on any cracks, I might have a higher bar when guessing about what's abnormal.)
(Would it help if you gave her a hand-held game that might be one that would hold her interest in the car? My daughter had a very addictive Wheel of Fortune game. Even if you get some good cell phone games maybe it would get her mind of the signs at least some of the time. You can download cell phone games for about 5.00. I have a cute "Hello Kitty" one and a "Sponge Bob" one for no reason other than I imagined how I may someday be in a restaurant with a little kid and need to keep them busy. They have games for older kids as well.) (Tell her you're giving her the game just for the purpose of helping her break the coloring habit if she wants to. Tell her the game is only for the car. If she has it other places she'll get sick of it eventually, and it won't have the same degree of newness for her.)
It all depends on how you define normal.
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