i have an issue and like some advice?
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My daughter used to cut. So I understand your pain from a different perspective. Let me ask you this, what has helped you NOT cut during the past 5 months? Use those coping skills - only more.
Did you find a strength in yourself you didn't know you had? If so, draw on it with the realization that you will always have the strength to not cut, or to forgive yourself if you do.
Perhaps you came to realize the biological reason why you cut.release of endorphins and all that. Use your good coping skills, exercise, and do something just for you that help with the endorphins.
Perhaps you came to realize that you really had no control over what other people did to you (or in this case, what other people do to your friend). Because you are absolutely right, the only person you have any control over is yourself.
Talk to your husband. I'm sure he is scared for you. Thinking about my daughter, I think it was the fear of talking and expressing her needs that lead her to cutting.
It wouldn't be bad to go back on meds or to have a little fine tuning therapy. If you really don't want to cut, perhaps this is what you need to do. Go back to your previous therapist. I'm sure you ended therapy with caveat that you can always come back. I'm sure you would never tell a diabetic not to take their insulin. You taking meds/therapy is no different - so don't feel guilty or feel like a failure.
Five months of not cutting is an incredible achievement! You should be so proud of yourself. Only a person who has been involved with cutting could really understand what it has taken for you to quit. It's not like quitting smoking, its more like stopping breathing.If you really don't want cut, call your therapist, it won't hurt and can only help. Much Happiness.
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You really need to get to the heart of your issues. Maybe talking to your friend instead of hiding behind cutting would help you to learn to assert your self and your feelings better and if they are a good friend they will understand your needs and be able to be supportive to you too. Talk your anger out instead of doing something to yourself. Talk to your friend or talk to your husband. Tell them how you feel and that you feel like reverting to your old ways and would like to talk. I haven't self mutilated for about 3 months but havent cut for years. I used my nails most recently and it doesn't leave scars. I just think that you should go see a doctor or use your time to your advantage and get the things done that you need to do, to mainly distract yourself.
In all honesty, I find it hard that anyone could have such a problem. Your mind is the most powerful force on the planet. use it!
START TAKING YOUR MEDS AGAIN! YOU decided to stop taking your meds 2 months ago because YOU were doing well. Of course, you were doing well because no difficult situations had come up. The prescription was given to you to take until you felt better. They were prescribed to take consistently so when situations do come up (as they always do for everyone) you could cope. If you don't want to tell anyone, sit and write it all out, then read it back to yourself. Or record yourself talking it out - describing all of your urges to cut. I have worked in a specialty clinic for several years and know that this is what happens when we go to the doctor seeking help and when we start to feel better, we decide that we know more than he does, somehow. Makes you wonder why we ever thought we needed to see him anyway, right? I repeat, START YOUR MEDS AGAIN! Good luck.
the greatest love of all is to love yourself! keep that in mind. i know it's difficult to stop cutting, i still do it from time to time. it's hard to talk to your loved ones because they can't understand. i was on meds and therapy but it didn't work for me and a lot of ppl were hurting because of what i was doing but after a while i just stopped because there were lots o people surrounding me, i was always busy doing something..it's hard to talk and i choose not to but it's not helping. you can try writing.trust me it helps, a lot more than you would think! hope you can stop cutting because our body is our temple. CARPE DIEM and whatever it is that's troubling you remember that "after the rain the sun is shining!" You must get back on your medication as this keeps you stable. Instead of cutting why not hold a piece of ice for as long as you can. this can give the same feeling of pain and release but with no tissue damage.
Have you had a diagnosis of your condition? It sounds to me as if you have Borderline Personality Disorder.
Look it up on Google and you will discover lots of ways to help yourself.
Remember you don't need to cut yourself
go see your doc. if you cut yourself wrong and kill yourself it'll be selfish. you'll leave someone special behind. at least be grateful you have a loving man. a lot of women would kill for that.
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