What is wrong with me??
Question:
I had to pretend i was ok form that point because my mum and nan thought i was faking it. I had counselling appointments for about 6 months, and i had to stop them because i could deal with my mum and nan.
Now i am feeling really bad and wish i kept going to the appointmetns. I have paranoia, i am feeling really down, hate the way i look, hate everything about myself.
I cant go and see my doctor because he wont put me on medication and i cant have another counselling appointment because i have to pay for them unless my mum knows, which i cant tell her.
Im in a real mess here, i dont know what to do.
If anyone has any advice please help me.
And please dont ramble on about religion. If god was real he would have helped me.
Answers:
I would suggest you try and see another doctor. Your doctor has no right to refuse to give you medication. I have suffered form depression myself and it was one of the worst experience's of my life. I felt nothing, i was empty nothing held any joy for me. I didn't want to be here, I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. It took me a long time to admit that there was something wrong with me.
I got prescribed medication and it helped me, it doesn't work over night that's the only problem. It took me 5-6 weeks before I started to feel a little better and after that ever day I started to get more and more positive until I was like my old self. I was also worried about taking the medication as i had heard people saying not to take it and that it was addictive and all sorts of other things. But I took it and had absolutely no problems while on it or after I stopped taking it, so to me it was worth it.
See a different doctor there is help out there and everyone is entitled to it.If no one will still help you I would go to a different practice or make an official complaint. I know some doctor don't like to prescribe medication for depression, they don't see it as being a real illness. Depression isn't something you can shake yourself out of, people that haven't suffered from it don't understand that it's not that simple.
I just want you to know that you can be helped I'm living proof of that, things can get better and your life can go back to the way it use to be. I really hope this helps and I hope you get the help you need. Take care of yourself. Just remember your NOT alone, depression is more common than you think. Its a fact that 1 in 3 will suffer from depression at some point in their life.
You say you can't go back to the doctor as your mum would have to know. I would try and speak to a councellor at school or do you have a close friend that could possibly talk to. There is also some helplines you could call like The Samaritans.
Here are some links for sites about depression that may also help you and maybe give you some possible solutions.
http://www.depression.com/
http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/depression1.shtml
you sound quite young, can you talk to someone in the family about how you feel. You need to talk to someone who you can trust. dont bottle up your feelings, try going back to your gp or see another Dr at the same practice.
hope things work out for you.
there must be a local teen crisis centre in your area. please phone them and get help, I'm sure they can provide whatever help is necessary.Good luck
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