How would you describe this behaviour?

Question:

I'm on the computer.
My boyfriend, instead of asking me to turn of the computer because he's ready to go to bed, says "I guess I'll go lay down in the other room since you are on the computer.
I say "It's OK. I'll shut it all down, now."
No response. He just walks out of the room. And I know he heard me!

No - I haven't been on the computer all day. I had been on for maybe 30 minutes.

He does this kind of thing quite often.

Is that passive aggressive? Manipulative? What?

Answers:
Well Kat, it's hard to answer a Q like that with such limited information. So I'll try to give some general observations (based on 38 years of marriage).

I strongly believe that every relationship has three distinct participants: One is him, two is her, and three is the couple. They need equal "status" and attention. If any one isn't getting their fair share, the relationship won't work (much like a three-legged stool with one short leg).

If your boyfriend is not getting his fair share of your time, then you have a problem. If he is getting his fair share but wants more, then he has a problem. If you each have plenty of your own time, but you're not spending enough time together, then the couple has a problem.

If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say he wanted you to spend some time with him (couple time) and was resentful that you were spending time on the computer instead of whatever he had in mind.

I'd suggest talking to him about balancing your individual needs and your "couple" needs.

If he's the right guy, this stuff should just come naturally.

May be he feels neglected.. I'm not saying it's right.. just that may be that's the way he feels... Ask him.

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How would you describe this behaviour?

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