Phobia of having a boyfriend? What is wrong with me?

Question:

I know this sounds really strange but it's staring to make me really depressed now. I WANT to have a boyfriend in my life, I feel ready to have a boyfriend and when I meet a potential boyfriend and go out on a date I wind up getting this feeling of being terrorized....like Im about to DIE and litterally lose my life, unless I get away as fast as possible from the boy. Even though he doesn't do anyting wrong, and I really like him. I don't understand why I do this. I abandonded the potential boyfriend.

...couple of months later I find somebody else and the same things keep happening. It really feels like I will DIE if I get any emotionally closer to him. I feel sad when I have to avoid his phonecalls and abandon a potential boyfriend again. I want to be happy and I WANT a boyfriend.... :( So why do I keep doing this?!!!

Answers:
its hard to say without knowing more about you but
in general some ppl will hav this problem when
they hav an unusually strong sense of identity--which is to say
they could not stand the idea
of havin someone or somethin intrude into their "selfhood".
it would be like dying,,,,and you did use the word "die"
yet at the same time they know
its pleasurable sometimes to merge themselves with someone
else,,,,,so now you hav a deadlock between two forces

sounds like a neurotic disorder

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Phobia of having a boyfriend? What is wrong with me?

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