I really need the help of everyone today. Please?!?!?!?!!.
Question:
Answers:
I thought you said it was your step father initially. Sounds like your mom knows what happened.
1. You need to go to the police and report this crime.
2. You and your mother need counseling and perhaps some support groups. You can call 211 in most cities to find First Call For Help, the phone hot line of the United Way, the operators have information where to get help. If it's not under 211, then find a number for First Call for Help or the United way.
3. Worrying about your mom and your sister is not taking care of yourself. You NEED to feel your feelings about this and NOBODY else's feelings come before your own. Your mother putting herself first has put you in the position of the mother. This is WRONG. Children need their parents it should not be the other way around. Don't allow her to act like you are the parent. When she decided to get pregnant with you she gave an unspoken vow to take care of you. She doesn't seem to be living up to that contract in this situation and maybe in others, since you seem well trained to be more concerned about her than yourself. This is called co-dependency. Read a Melody Beattie book on this topic. She defines co-dependency like no other person can.
4. Please realize that you did not ask to be raped. It is not your fault. It did happen. This man needs to be charged to the full extent of the law. What he did to you is despicable.
5. You are a good, and valuable person. Yes, you are and at this time you need help and support. You are not asking for something inappropriate. YOU are important!
Please get the help you deserve. Tell your mother the truth and ask her to be the parent she should be. It's not up to you to heal her from any abuse she suffered, that is her job. And WHY in God's name would she put her rapist as your Godfather? This woman doesn't sound like a good role model, I think you can do better.
I have a childish mother myself. I have had to remove myself from her presence because it is too damaging to me. We now have an acceptable relationship by e-mail. When she writes something insensitive and co-dependent, I write a response and get out my fury and then I don't send it, she won't learn anyway, she's proved this over many, many years. A mother like this takes and takes and has very little to give. Find some good supports outside of your family.
I feel for you. Good luck on getting the help you deserve.
Other Answers:
That's awful. I am sorry for your pain. Perhaps you both could see a professional or join a support group.
Call a crisis line. That's the first thing you should do. Maybe a domestic violence center. Talk with someone who has expertise in this area. So sorry you are having to go through this. Be open about it. Expose the people who do that sort of thing. Call the cops, have him taken to jail so he won't do any more of it to you or your sister or whoever.
You need to tell the authorities what has transpired so that he can pay for his actions. You don't want to live with hatred and pain in your life. Then, forgive him, yourself and ask God to move you forward to a better place. You are not alone, no one is alone, there are many people to help you. Good Luck
if you have a church go talk to someone there or a school conuselor. i think abuse like that is terrible and dont do anything stupid, just pray about it, ask God to take the hate away, and tell your mom. Hopefully she will believe you. is she married to this man now? maybe if u tell her she will leave him. she might be looking for an out and that could be it. You love your mom. But you need to put your needs first. You need to go and get help from someone. These sick predators do not stop with one. If your concerned about your sister then get help now before she is harmed also. There are rape hot-lines , the police, your pastor, that can assist you. Do not let this go, you can turn from being a victim to a survivor. but YOU MUST do something.You are a good person and have done nothing to deserve this.
I think your mom already knows something happened to you.it's no coincidence she told you about what happened to her that very moment.
Anyway, you need to take control of the situation. Seek medical attention for yourself first. Then press charges against your father-in-law. You will probably be moving in with your mother real soon. Next, join a support group.you are definitely not alone out there.
get professional help immediately. find a therapist, counselor, your priest or pastor. whatever.. pick up the phone and call information for a crisis hot line. anything. but do it now, today, this minute.
you and your family have suffered long enough. the healing starts when you pick up the phone.
good luck, i'll pray for you tonight
this has happened to so many people and the way they
get by with it is no one wants to be the one to blow the
whistle on them. we all know of someone who did and
then was attacked as though they were the villain. it
is called blame the victim and it works to keep other
victims quiet. your pain is real and so is your mother's.
i do not know the answer, but i do know you should
educate your sister. if not about your personal experience
then about the dangers and how she should protect
herself.
i could help u Sweetie.Tell her. Your hurting yourself and your mother by not telling her. You guys can go get help together.
Theres not much we on youqa.com can do..We cant go and get revenge on these men. But you do need to tell someone. So you can file for something. Just stay calm..I know its hard.TELL YOUR MOTHER! She would want to know what happened to her little girl. =\
And no it is not a cycle..Its just a stamp of bad luck for you family
But don't wallow in your pity. Take action..Speak out. Start an advocacy center. Help women and girls like yourself.
There is a reason for everything that happens to us. It hurts..but it always creates something so much better in the end.
I know you are hurting.But talk to someone and sort it all out. Dont live in fear. Youll ruin your life.
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1.800.656.HOPE (4673)
Good luck hunny. I hope that you work everything out. Life is tough..But be strong..for you and your mother. <3
http://million.rainn.org/
Report your father-in-law to the police. You must come forward if for no other reason than to protect your sister. If your FIN is a true god fearing man, he would want to confess his sin and 'get right with the Lord'.
As for your Mother, it's ok to help her, but you must help yourself too. Good Luck.
Hello Magy G. -
I need you to watch this video clip. This woman has changed my life and helped me get out of a very painful, difficult time in my life. Listen to what she has to say intently! I'm a young lady myself, and she is easy to follow and relate to. You can relate to her because she went through her young life also being sexually abused by her own father - so she knows how it feels. I'm positive that she will help ease some burning flames in your heart! It will be a long process I'm sure of battling with your emotions. Just don't do anything to yourself or anyone else that you may regret. If you need someone to chat with, here is my email: mnm81@sbcglobal.net
Oh, and after you click on the link, find where it says "Today's Broadcast". Directly underneath that, click on Thursday's Broadcast entitled "Pressing Past Anger and Unforgiveness".
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