Have you ever felt like you were on the outside looking in?
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I feel all your feeling at least part of the time. I've always lived on the sidelines, in mind and body, never really participating with what's happening around me. I've felt before like my body was a stranger, looking in the mirror and not really able to believe the person staring back was me. I've walked outside before and not been able to feel my feet touch the ground. Any of that sound familiar too?
What you describe sounds like a serious case of depersonalization disorder. Characterized...by...well....y... symptoms.
It's usually a learned reaction to a traumatic or very stressful experience that is still being used...after the point when it was useful. Examples of these traumatic experiences: Rape, abuse, natural disasters, war...or even lesser evils such as prolonged anxiety and fear...perhaps being harassed daily by peers or even having an anxiety disorder. The mind's natural response to these events is to dissociate, or tune out what's going on. A lot of times, it can feel like an out of body experience...or like the person has 'went somewhere else'.
I would see a psychologist about this...it could get worse...
I wish you luck, these feelings are hard to control.
Not crazy.. maybe just depressed? Try talking to someone.
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