How can I control my anger that rages and not shout back at the person I'm talking to?

Question:

I need advice,support and help before stress and anger kills me !! I've been married for a few years and my husband and I had to be apart for a couple of them (as we were in different countries). He's very loving, caring and trustworthy, however after we've been living together here we've argue almost every day. For some reason I feel I don't share chemistry with him, we don't see eye to eye on matters and such. We want to work on our marriage as it's worth saving. We've both great people at heart, but have ended up arguing and shouting at each other. It is soo hard for me to be calm if he says something that totally doesn't make sense to me, I just shout back in retaliation and my tone always suggests disrespect to him. He travels, so these arguments are on the phone or email. He comes home during the weekends. I find myself just shouting with anger when I get enraged. Want to stop this as we both want peace. Therapy might be expensive and not my first solution...Please advise!

Answers:
You sound like I was. I still shout every once in a while but it is MUCH less.

I have adopted breathing techniques to help me slow down. When the other person is talking, take long slow breaths. After they finish talking, and you must wait until they do(this is very hard for me), say, "ok" or some other affirmation that they spoke, take another deep breath and then speak.

Practicing meditation daily for 30 minutes or more will help this. It gets you into the right mode for handling the pressure.

Of course, this may not be your cup of tea.

There are also many anger management books that I have looked at. Find one right for you at Amazon.com or go to a local bookstore. I find it better if I go to the store. Then I can read some of the book and drink cappucino!

Good luck, you can beat it.

Shouting never resolves anything, it just makes things worse. The best and easiest method is as follows:

As soon as you feel an angry retaliation coming on, force yourself to countdown from 10 to 1 before answering. You usually lose the urge to shout back or at least the little pause would look like you're a bit more in control. Try it out

Think before u speak,self control,our tongues do more damage than u think..

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How can I control my anger that rages and not shout back at the person I'm talking to?

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