What's an effective way to deal with stress?


Question:
Recently, I've been under a lot of pressure from school, sports, music, my parents, preparing for college, SATs/PSATs - basically everything. I'm feeling so overwhelmed and I don't have anyone that I trust enough to open up to. (I don't like sharing my problems with my friends and I don't trust my parents to react helpfully.) I never have any spare time because I'm so busy. Does anyone have any suggestions to help relieve stress? I try keeping a journal, but it takes so long to write everything down...

Answers:
Your first step should take you to the school counsellor, or psychologist if there is one. They are very experienced in helping students with problems just like yours. And your problems are extremely common with students your age.
If you feel like you just can't bring yourself to talk to them, then the next step is to evaluate and prioritize your activities. It may be you are just tired because you are way over scheduled and have no free time to just relax and chill out. Tired and over-extended people are stressed out people. You should be getting around 10-12 hours of sleep at this point in your life, and less than that will cause problems for you.
As you take inventory of the activities you are involved in, score the activity as to how enjoyable it is to you, and how much interest you actually have in continuing to do it. Don't consider what other people think you should be doing or want you to do. Are you in sports because you really like sports? Do you play your instrument because you like to, or is it just something you continue because your parents have paid so much for the instrument and you've played for years?
Sports isn't the be all and end all- it's possible to just play for fun and not the school team. Ditto for the music. Unless you think you want to pursue a career in either of these areas, perhaps it's time to let it go for the time being.
When you decide what you are going to eliminate, do it and don't let anyone talk you out of it. Tell them you just don't have the time and energy to give it, and that's it. No arguements allowed.
I would explain to your parents why you are giving up some activities, and the reasons- number one being you are feeling over stressed and over tired. You might be surprised to find they are more supportive of you and your efforts than you think. Parents aren't mind readers, and have no way to know what's going on in your head or mind unless you clue them in.
By backing down on some of the activities, you will be in a better position to evaluate what you really want to do, and find a time in your schedule for it. Learn to say no. No, I don't have time to do that. No, I really am not interested in doing that. No, I don't want to do that. No is a very good word, when it helps you keep control of your time and life.
For what it's worth, this stressful time does pass. You will graduate, and you will get into college. You will graduate from college, get a job, and have an independant life. Right now it may seem like those days will never come, and it's hard to imagine them when you can't see the light at the end of this tunnel. You are not the only one to feel this way, you are not the first. You will survive it and things will get better. Meantime, if you need help to put things in better perspective- go see a counsellor, either at school or at church. And do try to talk it over with your parents. They really do love you and care about what is best for you.
try a guidance counselor or a helpline.


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