What's going on with my husband?

Question:

We have been married for nearly 21 years now and he hasn't touched me in almost 13 years. He sleeps on top of the covers and also surrounds himself with pillows. I don't think he uses soap because even after a shower, he smells. It's like he does this deliberately. He used to say he loved me, until last year after he bought a laptop that he keeps locked up and secure, and has always said, he "has nothing to hide." I find this very hard to believe.what's going on? Anyway, I've been talking to men online, and he knows about it, I don't try to hide it. All of a sudden he's upset with me. Well, what else am I supposed to do? He's not interested and I need MORE than a nice card on my birthday and anniversary, if you get my drift.
I keep myself in good shape for my age and keep myself clean and neat looking. There is no reason for him to be turned off at all.
So, any input?

Answers:
Sounds like he's trying to push you away. Maybe he's trying to manipulate you in to kicking him out. Since he can't bring himself to do it on his own. Sorry ,but I can't see ANY reason to stay in a unsatisfying(emotional and physical) relationship.Then again maybe he has a a physical problem but the locked up laptop kinda blows that one away. Try consuling, if he's just interested in messing with your head drop him. It's not worth being unhappy year after year.

Other Answers:
1) talk to him

2) seek counsel

3) if he won't go, leave

you only have one life, and this is a form of abuse (neglect)

He doesn't like you and he's nuts If you consider yourself to be a person of faith (whatever your religion may be) then you should seek spiritual counseling and talk to your husband.

He could be suffering from depression or another mental illness (? substance abuse?). I know you can't make him see a doctor, but perhaps if you tried counseling as a couple, progress could be made toward finding an answer.

I feel for you, and hope that you can get some help.

Good luck.

i am really sorry about your husband..you have lived with him for 21 years, very hard to understand. He lives in his own world..if you think he can change and show sudden love, affection is out of question. i would say its nothing wrong when you talk to other man online. Every one in the needs a kind of emotional support and i know you are not getting it frm him. Your hubby hasn't touched you in 13 dammned years? how do you survive? I wouldn't stand a stinky girlfriend with secrets in her laptop.
Why dontcha try to communicate? If he refuses that.. well my GF would have ditched me long ago for this.

My guess would be that he's objecting to your online activity because he's online now, too and sees what can happen.

My other guess is that he's discovered porn sites he likes, hence the locked-up laptop.

Thirteen years is a long time, of course. The only thing you can do is to decide what's right for you. and do it with integrity.

Good luck and all the best. It is possible that a number of things have occured. Ask yourself a few questions:
1) Do you both have personal feelings that have not been resolved when arguments arose?
2) Is there a religious connection active within your relationship?
3) Do you have any time to enjoy each other's company outside of bedtime?
4) Is it possible that he, or you, have any physical situations that have surfaced that has promoted his change in attitdue?
5) Any children?
6) Do you both have individual time to find your own source of pleasure?

My marriage is only half as long. But, my parents are 45+ yrs and going. Their relationship has caused me to continually look at my marriage and level of commitment daily. Questions like these would go very far in examination of your marriage.

Peter DID YOU EVER ASK YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT HIS SEX LIFE

DID YOU EVER ASK YOUR HUSBAND DID HE LIKE MEN OR

IF HE HAD ANYTHING THAT HE MIGHT NOT WANT TO GIVE TO YOU. Honey. counseling if you want to stay married. Lots of it. Personally I don't see what you could possibly be getting out of this relationship, but I'm not you. Thirteen years is far too long to be in an unsatisfactory marraige; I'd have left him a long time ago.

Out of curiosity, how many lives are you planning to have? Assuming that you only believe in having one life, is this an acceptable way of living the one you've got?

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What's going on with my husband?

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