Low self esteem?

Question:

I have been struggling with low self esteem since I was a child, I am 42 now and I still have trouble with meeting people. I am not married and when people (relatives mostly) try to get me to meet with a guy--I shy away--because I feel that they wouldn't like the way I look. I have been told that I am pretty and a friendly person. I am self conscious about my weight (5'7" 190 lbs-I've been told I don't look heavy). But I really can't blame it on weight--when I was thin--I still felt the same way. I think the way I feel about myself comes across and gives negative vibes--most guys shy away from me. I want to be more outgoing, not afraid to approach people and just talk---I just don't know how to. What can I do? I should not have this problem at my age---how do I come out of this shell?

Answers:
Hey girl--you've already started--look where you are--you've just opened up to the largest public forum in the world--see ? If you can step out here and talk about your personal concerns in this manner--there is something going on with you that is about to break loose and it will be a marvelous thing when it happens--you have been in reserve for all this time --that is all--and the time has come for you to launch---Put aside this thought of what's going on with others for now--what they think and what they feel and how they may or maynot look on you---their not the ones that are spending their life in this "shell" you're speaking of--your feelings--your thoughts--your viewpoint--your life is as important to the all as anyone else's and you can take that to the bank little lady--Somewhere and at some time in the past someone has put a hurting on you that you did not deserve and now it's time to put it all behind you

One super way for you to begin to get out and around people without feeling a central crush on yourself --especially at the beginning--is to find a gal buddy to start stepping out with if for no other thing--say to a coffee shop or to the mall--stay open to casual conversations with others and remember--you have as much right to speak your thoughts on whatever as anyone else--after a bit of this -- I guarantee that you will find it easier and easier to get out and about on your own and to enter into conversations with people without this reluctance that you're feeling right now----Good Luck to You---Now get a start and turn yourself loose from this unconnected private place you've confined yourself to--the world is waiting to meet you and they'll be thrilled once you've arrived

Other Answers:
easy, problem is in you. you work on it. why you think you are lower than others? why affraid/shy? what makes you think other people are better than you are? look around, there are many people more screw up than you are, look how many waste their life by being lazy, by being stupid, doing drugs, become other's slave, etc. keep on being friendly, nice and helpful to other people and find ways to socialize /meet people often. they will help /support nice people like you.

I'd say go out with your friends and try to meet some guys. Don't worry how you look. If you're looking for a boyfriend, he should love you just for how great a person you are on the inside, not how you look on the outside. I think the best way to face something is to go out and actually try it. I'm sorry you have low self esteem. You have people who love you and that should help to raise your self esteem a little bit. Good luck! I understand your problem totally. In order to get out there and start dating you have to learn to love yourself more than anyone else. When you learn to love who you are people will love the confidence you give off and they will begin to flock to you. No matter how your day is going or how you feel remember to love who you are! It works.

ok i had the same problem. i am a little over weight and when guys would ask me out i would just shrug it off cause i thought they were just messing with me and were gonna hurt me mentally. but you should know that it doesnt matter what's on the outside it's the inside that counts and i bet you are a beautiful person who needs to know that. God didnt make anyone ugly. and i dont know your religion so i hope that doesnt offend you. i am sure you have heard that it's the inside that counts all the time cause i did a lot but i just kind of blocked it out. you need to know it is true and try to find yourself a nice man that is not a high maitinence(spelling wrong) jerk. there is a lot of nice men out there you just need to open up.
hope this helps
-jade

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Low self esteem?

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