How do you deal with depressed friends without losing it yourself?

Question:

I have a very depressed friend, whom I've been friends with for a long time. Lately though he is completly unreliable (says he'll call doesn't, stands me up, doesn't do what he says he will do ect.). All he has to say lately is negative and whiney. I want to be there for him..and for the last year I have put up with all of it and tried to be the best friend I could handle being. but I find myself very angry and resentful towards him. I avoid him because I don't like being around him.then I feel guilty as hell about it and feel I'm not being a friend, but I feel he's not my friend, he's a self centered whiney taker all the time. I know he needs professional help, but he can't/won't. How can I help him without going insane!

Answers:
Dealing with a depressed friend is never easy. I know all about it. My best friend in the whole world has suffered with deep depression since her car accident last August. It is difficult sometimes to find the right words to say to her. I keep telling her to look at her positives and don't focus so much on her negatives, perhaps this will help your friend.

You may want to approach him to do some investigative work to pinpoint for his ownself what person(s) or thing(s) make him feel depressed about. Then after he does this, ask him if there is anything he could change to correct the problems. If he says "no there isn't" then ask him to make a list of all of his good points and acknowledge all his accomplishments in life. See if you can focus on the good and positive things in his life as opposed to his negative things.

Always encourage your friend as best as you can. Be willing to listen to him and be as positive as you can not only with him but with yourself.

Let him know that you care very deeply for him and let him know that you will support him with all of his decisions.

Every once in awhile, mention to him about therapy and seeing a doctor about his depression. Medications and therapy go hand in hand.

Good luck to you and your friend! I hope he feels better soon!

Other Answers:
I apologise in advance if this sounds harsh. You first need to ask yourself a very important question. Then decide for yourself, from experience with the person, and take action on it. The question is: "Does this person WANT to be helped? Or are they just looking for someone to turn to, lean on, depend on." (Take advantage of, use) The cold, hard, truth is that if they are REALLY WANTIING helped, they will take your advice to seek professional help, no matter how hard it might be to do. They will also recognise that they are bringing you down with them. You should think also about what you are doing to yourself and them. Is your continued effort to be there enabling them to stay in denial of their need for professional help? What are you doing to yourself as a result? Why should you feel guilty for saying enough?

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How do you deal with depressed friends without losing it yourself?

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