Hi i need some advice. How do i help my wife overcome her depression without splitting us apart, as it is now.


Question:
It has been going on for a few months and refuses to talk to me about her problems. I love her very much and it hurts me to see her like this but i cant help if she wont let me in. She has mood swings, where she is fine one minute then snaps then goes into her shell and ignores me. I dont like it this way as it feels i have lost the women i married and whom i love, just because she treats me like a stranger. Has anyone gone through this with their partners.

Answers:
Listen to her, and support her. I know it must be really hard on you too. It must be awful to watch the person that you fell in love with disappear. Im sure that your wife doesnt mean to hurt you or treatr you like a stranger, infact she is probably not even aware that she is. If you give her some space when she goes into her shell and wait for her to come back out, that might help. But you also have to be there for her too, just floating about in the background for when she completely needs you. Also try and get her out of the house by going for a walk, a car drive, or a car drive to a nice place and go for a walk. Try to do things together, and I dont mean just watching the telly together! She will get better but you have to be there for help and help her through this, for better for worse, in sickness and in health!

Other Answers:
u know u should just try to talk to her when she is in a good mood start with something positive and go from there

im really sorry to hear that but all i can tell u now is that u need to give her space because the more u hassle her, the more u are gona push her away. Has she had a psychiatric evaluation. Is there a history of mental illness in her family. Is she old enough to be a candidate for dementia?


How old is she, could be going through Menopause. Anyways, seems like she needs to be on antidepressants, I would advice you take her to see a doctor.


She needs medical help.
One can only guess at what is going on with her. And it wouldn't be right to make suggestions, you'd end up nuts with the worry.
Hope you can get her to the GP.

Hi.this is a tough spot, I gone through it with my last girlfriend, and it did not end with good results..try to watch out for her, as you can..let her know that you love and care for her, and you are there if she needs to talk..if she is receptive, try getting some counseling together.Being treated as a stranger hurts, I know..also, consider that she may be developing a bi-polar disorder. Is this cronic? does she have a history of depression? it's usually has a family background, she needs to see her family doctor, most depression is easily treated, the hard part is admitting there's a problem and going for that help, you need to stand by her and help when she's ready, let her know in small ways you love her. and you will be there for better or worse.Hang tough you'll make it.


you cant help her, she has to do this herself. All you can do is be there when she needs you and trust me she will.
I have suffered from depression myself and my husband just waited until I needed him.
It was 10 years ago and this year we celebrate our 25 wedding anniversary.
Just remember it is not your fault, but it is not hers either.


She needs to go to her GP,if she hasn't already, quickly. I know it's hard for you to cope with but she won't be understanding her moods, let alone be able to explain them to someone else. It is a lonely, painful affliction. The most you can do is be there for her and let her know that you are trying to understand and that you will work through it with her. With antidepressants and counselling she will be able to work through it. Hold in there. X x give here some space shele come and tell you whats rong


just support her as much as you can, show her you love her though this may make her feel worse as she may then feel guilty.
try to just love her as she is and if it gets too much go and have councilling yourself to be able to cope with how she is better, which may help he rot move on.
fat is that we all go thrugh these tings sometimes whether male or female and we usually just need time to work something out within oursleves, bit concerned by the seriousness of some of the other replies which may be applicable but try not to get too stressed out by them and what is going on,relax and if she loves you she will come around at some point just give it time. You've taken the first difficult step for yourself, asking for help by putting your question out on the internet.

I think you need to talk to your doctor who will then be able to advise on the best cause of action. Maybe make a joint appointment so that your wife can hear and believe how worried you are about her.

When someone you love is suffering from depression you need to look after yourself as much as you look after your loved one.

If you'd like to read something helpful get a book called "What to do when someone you love is depressed" ISBN 080505829X. I'm not the author, just someone who suffers with depression and have found this book has helped me to understand what loved ones go through when I'm depressed.

Take care. Oh my god! I'm in the same situation as well! My husband has been to see the Local Mental health team and is going though the process of finding the right medication.
But it is torture to see him so upset and I just can't help because he just won't open up anymore - if you get any really good advice pass it on, please, before my marriage falls to bits.


You just have to be as supportive of her as you can, while still retaining your own identity. You can't solve her problems for her, you just have to show her that no matter what is going on in her life, you will still be there for her.

Reassurance.

When you are depressed, it can feel that the whole world is against you.

Reassurance.

Partners are often left to feel neglected, but at times like these, the partner has to bite the bullet and accept that their needs aren't going to be met by the person suffering. (easier said than done, I know).

Reassurance.

You also need to make sure that you have other interests.
If you become so involved in the problems that your wife is experiencing, that you neglect your other interests, then you become less effective in your abilities to cope, not just for your wife's benefit, but also your own.

Reassurance.

Even if your wife can't talk to you, you need to have someone to talk to for your own benefit.

Reassurance.

There is no guarantee that your wife will see the efforts that you are making, but you still have to make them.

Reassurance.

Have you talked to your own doctor about your feelings and experience? A good idea.

Has she talked to her doctor? A very good idea.
(You can't force this, unless she is so ill, that she is a serious risk to either her own health and wellbeing, or those around her.)

I guess the most important thing is that you give her all the unconditional love and support that she needs.

I wish you both well.

Feel free to contact me via answers if you want me to elaborate any further.




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