How do I stop these people?

Question:

I have a support group website. The most popular section is the eating disorders section. I allow people help for recovery by posting their stories and reading the stories or others. This isn't a new problem, people abusing by site by asking how to get an eating disorder, how to diet etc. but recently it's going off the deep end. I delete their message they repost it. I tell them to stay off my site they say they have every right to post their story and that I'm being an idiot for encouraging recovery. I even set up a rule section telling people that if thye don't agree with me to just go somewhere else. But still the problem persists. It's their body their life, I don't care what they do with it. I just don't want them spreading the word on my site. Anyone know how I can get these people off my site or at least reason with them?
Thanks

Answers:
Do you have the option to ask people to register before posting? If so, you should start doing that. That way you can ban people from posting if they break your rules. The downside is that people can and will register again from a different e-mail address, but if you just keep banning them with a minimum of comment, they may eventually move on to an easier site. Another option, if you technology allows it, is to set the site so that you have to approve each post. In that case, you can just remove posts that are in violation without saying anything, and they will go away quickly. The downside to that is that unless you have all day to spend screening posts, you'll be making a lot of work for yourself and a long delay for your posters. There may be a way to set the spam filter to catch certain pro-ana phrases, which might help, but since members might use the same phrases while discussing recovery, that might backfire. You might try re-posting this question in the technical help section of answers, and get a technical solution from someone with experience screening websites.

One thing you need to be firm about: don't debate these people. It sounds like you have a good grip on this already, but just don't enter into conversation with them. You owe them nothing. Write one generic note explaining that they have posted in violation of website policy, and send that same one every time. Send it to their e-mail address, do not allow the "debate" to be public on your site. It will only fuel more responses. Do not apologize, do not negotiate. They are ill, that illness is causing them to believe irrational things and act in irrational ways, and they are probably not that emotionally mature in any case. It's time to remember the immortal words of my Uncle Joe: "You can't argue with Crazy." Or anyway, you can't win.

I am sorry, but the way you describe it, there is absolutely no way to keep those people off your site, unless you kept EVERYBODY off, and that would of course be self-defeating.

you're going to reason with self-destructive people that willingly starve, or make themselves throw up because they can't get a grip on their body image or life or whatever it is? further more, why are you worried about promoting eating disorders? why, i just saw a big ad for one the other day on the cover of cosmo. the way i see it, if you don't want these people on your site, you have to get rid of the site. consider who would be posting or reading things on this site..people who have this problem. these people are locked in a lifelong struggle with this. they go back and forth with it in their minds. you're not going to get all recovery stories or positive messages.

You can't reason with these people. Instead of deleting them, write up a response pointing out how ill they are and post that. Post that same answer each time. Maybe you could help someone that way and you would be showing everyone else the right way to think about this disease.

Good luck to you.

How do I stop these people?

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