Why do people cut themselves off from others who care about them?

Question:

Met this really awesome friend on an online poetry forum, he adopted me as a daughter and his wife is really cool and we had been super close friends. All of the sudden, he just doesn't have time for me anymore. Example: we lived several states away and I had an opportunity to go to an event in his town and he didn't have time to even see me in person then, but used to be close enough buds to call me at work once or twice a day even? I don't think I offended him, it's like an emotional push-away thing. Why do people cut themselves off from others who care about them, and what can I do to make him more comfortable?

Answers:
If you look from the outside in (like I am) based on your question..then it sounds to me like you were getting 'too close' with this man who (hypothetically) adopted you as a daughter. Even if it was only platonic---it's just creepy if a girl is 'super close' to this guy who even talks to her on the phone during work hours who has a wife. See where I'm going here. I don't know you or your age but when a man marries a woman then the man has a great close friend who he talks to all the time but never met in person, it's just not cool. It's kind of a no-no and weird like you might have a crush on him or something. Married men don't just have single female friends that are so so close that they are always talking, etc.

For example, my husband dated this girl years before a met him. He has since been friends with her and I'm fine with that. They just talk on the phone, via email or when they run into each other doing errands they chat for a while. My husband has my full trust. However, if he met this single girl who is always talking/calling him at work, or anywhere else all the time and then wants to come to his hometown to go somewhere that's REALLY WEIRD.

Don't take offense if he just doesn't have time anymore. It could just be the 'tradition of marriage'.

Other Answers:
THEY ARE DEPRESSED. OR THEY ARE ON DRUGS. IT IS ALSO A SIGHN THEY MIGHT WANT TO KILL THEMSELVES

It was probably something that you said or he just needs his space.

maybe this guy was just afraid to meet you in person. You know how it is easier to talk to someone that you really dont know when you are on line or on the phone but when it comes to meeting them in person comfort levels often change. It may just be a personality flaw. Just brush it off and continue talking to him and his wife as though nothing has changed and you'll see, things will mend themselves.

Usually people withdraw because of emotional pain. What his problem is, is hard to tell.

You are saying that this man had cared for your well being and then just shut down the system. I would guess his wife was going to divorce him if he continued this way . She was duped into thinking you were an old maid he was helping. Good luck next time. You seem to be a free and independent outcast full of fun.

They are depressed, or they could be dealing with some issues from the past. He probably didn't mean to just cut you off like that, he probably doesn't even realize that he's doing it. Try talking to him about it.

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Why do people cut themselves off from others who care about them?

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