What is wrong with me?
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Answers:
You are a woman
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good luck darlin,, and keep getting the help
You need to go to counseling for your PTSD, dear. The therapy is designed to help you. I feel for you, and know what you are going through.
i am the same way. i am a privite person
Therapy will help, they will get you to find out where your issues come from. You need help or you will never find that love of your life. You don't know what you're missing.
You sound a lot like me, except for the fantasies. I don't even entertain those. It does sound as though therapy is in order, especially in light of the ptsd. Maybe you've been hurt so badly that you no longer trust anyone. Sometimes we sacrifice joy for safety. I know that I do. Good luck to you and God bless.
You must learn to love yourself before you love someone else and you may be afraid of rejection or hurt.
It is better to love for a little than to never love at all.Live one day at a time..and you know nothing really wrong with you.
Most men want what they can't have .it is human nature sorta.smiles..
take a look in the mirror and give yourself a hug!
I've known lots of women like you, and I thought that was normal.
Go to therapy. Your problem seems to need more help than you will get here.
I don't see anything wrong, do you?
it sounds like you have committment issues as well. I'd look into talking to a professional about it.maybe they can help. It's something that you are going to have to work out and work on yourself.but the help of a professional might ease the way for you a bit.
This i cannot answer correctly, but you might to go see a psychologist. I'm not trying to be mean but see if this is some sort of condition
You had some sort of bad experience with your parents in childhood. You experienced some pretty bad abuse, either emotional, verbal, or physical, from someone who was supposed to love you.
You can't get over your problem with intimacy until you figure out exactly what happened to you in childhood that was so traumatic for you.
You have to think long and hard about your childhood and what your relationship with your parents was like. They taught you with their actions that you will be cruely hurt by anyone you love and therefore you can't help but avoid people who might draw you into an intimate loving relationship. Your supconcious is protecting you from that unbearable pain it knows will be coming.
Figure out what happened in childhood, think about it and think about it and think about it some more.
You will have to deliberatly IGNORE the feeling that you want to end the relationship the next time your love it returned and force yourself to do the opposite of what you usually do and see what happens. Do it always thinking about the abusive situation in your childhood with the intention of overcoming and defeating it.
I have been working on my own similar issues my entire adult life.
i really cant tell what is wrong with u cuz im only 14, but 1 think i do know is that u should get therapy!
best wishes
that is a lot of serious problems, and i think yoiu know you should see a therapist of some sort, you already know you have issues, now you need to learn how to deal with them, yu have probably successfullly diagnosed yourself, but you need someone to help you "fix" what is wrong.
Im a guy and I struggle with the exact same issue. Im not really interested in relationships, but sometimes thinkng about it is nice. Some people are designed to be single. Non-sexual isnt the right term, but its the first one that comes to mind. Maybe a good solid friendship is the ideal relationship for you, rather than an intimate, physical one.
Sounds like let me reject you before you can reject me. That way someone who fears rejection does not get rejected--they do it first. You might do some reading on Borderline personality Disorder. You said a few things that make me think that could be part of it.
Sometimes the brain uses feelings to try to tell us something may be wrong in the body. Sometimes what is wrong is a blood sugar imbalance. Have you been tested for routine health problems, like high cholesterol, etc? If your doctor checks you for routine stuff and comes up negative, ask him/her to check your insulin level. If it is off, it can cause the aforementioned blood sugar imbalance, which can cause other hormonal problems, which might be the deep and cause of some of your relationship problems.
Well it seems your issue is going to be better answerd on a website thats dedicated to issues like this, Your best bet would be to find a decent site and make an anonoymous name and post on there forums, So you can get responses and add more answers.Nobody can tell you whats wrong with just 1 paragraph, they have to be able conversate with you. And have you tried some anti anxiety / depression meds? there are some very good mild forms now days that just might help. Not saying that you are a loony, but i have tried zoloft and lexapro myself, and i just have anxiety, but they have done wonders for me.But you should go back to a doctor and talk to him, thats the only true way to get your situation handled
maybe you're a pisces coz pisces normally escapes reality. :)..i think you have to have a very very good mind control. coz sometimes what you think affects what you feel.. it's a matter of mind conditioning towards everything that comes your way. :)
There's nothing wrong with you. I don't understand why people think they MUST be in a relationship. Perhaps your distance has been your heart telling you that those people were not the right ones for you. Also, I have had strong feelings for someone, then when they were returned, decided that I just couldn't stand them anymore. I am happily married now, so be patient.
Sometimes, it is easier to enjoy a predictable romance in our heads than it is to struggle with the day to day difficulties presented by a real-life relationship. I am not a therapist, and i don't suppose to know know the implications of your PTSD diagnosis. However, the fact that you have not been to therapy since discovering this diagnosis seems very telling to me.
It would appear that you might be desperately in need of something stable in your life, and the distance you keep from people (as well as your dislike of people that you you once revered) seems to be a self-defense. However, I am guessing that this behavior of yours does not spring from a single cause but more likely from a number of things that have have deflected your normal psychological development.
As you are almost 30, it is time for you to start taking your life seriously and get into that therapy. And take it seriously. You know something is causing you problems, so make the effort to trust your therapist (or group) to help you find out what they are. Do not rely upon yourself to do so, because most people cannot see the shape of the forest when they are in the forest themselves.
I think you could benefit from group therapy. You will be able to get your thoughts straight and start living a happy life.
You have internal, hidden issues that you haven't been able to address, handle and accept yet. You say that you are (suffering from ) post traumatic stress, and it affects your relationships, but have you truly realized what it is from?
Very likely it is from being abused or raped by someone that you trusted or loved when you were younger.
The attachment disorder is a result of removing yourself mentally, consciously and purposely from the scene while the abuse or rape was being conducted--either by 'forgetting it' by burying it in your subconscious, or hiding it--knowingly, and not admitting that it was a fact in your life ---- to protect your own sanity and perhaps even to protect the identity of the abuser or rapist.
You are not alone in this, there are many people that suffer from attachment disorders, and the condition that they are afraid to become too close to anyone suggests that they distrust, and to 'stay safe' and protect themselves, they often do end up pushing the person away, and 'disliking' the person, as you have noted. It is easier to 'push people away' and terminate relationships than it is to HANDLE it subconsciously.
You really need to allow yourself to know that no matter what happened, you are a good person even if something like this DID happen to you. Whoever was involved is also relevant, but it is something you must remember and face.
It was not your fault, but if you contributed to the problem, you merely made bad choices at that time. You need to remember what happened and admit that it did happen, and that it made you unhappy.
When you DO face the trauma, and learn why you were traumatized, and by whom, you shall be fine. It will not be easy, but you will begin by understanding yourself better. When you understand yourself better, you will no longer fear connective relationships. Have faith in your own strength and understanding.
Good luck with that.
You're screwed-up. What you need is to have the holy s*** f****d out of you. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about, I'm a professional. Or, you might try seeing a comedian. I don't recommend this for everyone, but it works for me. Good luck.
search your soul - is there really something wrong - or are you just afraid - afraid of the commitment it takes to be in a relationship. So afraid you will do anything to ruin that budding relationship. sometimes we are so unsure of ourselves that we try to find wild reasons why something doesn't work out - face your fears - ADMIT that you are afraid - break down and have a good cry about it - tell someone you are so scared that you may hate them before it is all over. I dated a girl like this once - as soon as we started dating she became hateful. One night I made her talk - to tell me what was wrong - got her to admit that she was scared to death of having a relationship that might lead to a commitment. We ended up dating for several months but she never really overcame her fears completely - but she at least now admits that is her problem and continues to work on it - good luck - hollar if you need an ear - or a shoulder
there is not a thing wrong with you, you sent me a very nice answer to my question showing you are a very compassionate person quit thinking so negative your a sweetheart.Just haven't found the right one yet.Be yourself it will happen and you will know it.good luck.you have my e-mail if you want to talk.
I am not going to go into what gave you PTSD, but I think I know. I am going to assume that it is something from your earlier years (15 or below) or sometime around that time, and because of it you have extremely bad memories of anything associated with that event. I dont know if I'm right, but from what you described it seemed as if that event revolved around someone you trusted causing you emotional or physical pain. I'm not saying that it had to be extreme, but even one of your parents slapping you and telling you that you are a terrible child can cause something like PTSD at a young age.
What you described isnt exactly normal, but you arent psycho for it either. What is wrong with you is that you just can not get that memory out of your head, which is the whole point of what you have. Getting over a memory is sometimes the hardest thing a person can do, so I will try to give you some advice on what you can do to help yourself without getting therapy.
First of all, I found your profile and your question by the cutting question. I just wanted to say thank you for being the only person I have ever seen who is so aware of what they are doing, and not the people who just make it seem like mommy and daddy didnt give them their 50 dollars for a new A&F shirt this week. I did it for a while, and I wasnt aware of it like you are. I think its extremely healthy for you to know why you are doing it, although the act itself isnt exactly the most healthy thing on the planet.
But here are some ways that you can try to get over it:
-Are you religous? If so, do you believe in a god or group of gods that love you? Are you afraid of your connection with your chosen diety because they love you unconditionally? I know that its not the same thing, but there is one thing that love you if you believe they do. Also, what about your parents. I know that it isnt a romantic love, but are you afraid of their attachment to you? Even pets, friends. Think of all the people or beings in your life that have some sort of unconditional love for you, and what you would do without it. Even though I'm sure none of them are going to pop the question, people do feel that way for you.
-If you only have friends that are the oppsite sex of who you are attracted to (if you like boys, then only girlfriends. If you like girls, than only boyfriends) then try and get a really close friend of someone who is the same gender as what you like. Wait until you have that same unconditional love for your new friend, and they love you the same way. Even though it is not a romantic love, maybe having a friendly love will help you get over your fear of love in general.
-Try doing something symbolic to get rid of that memory. For example, write a few pages (hand written) of what that one event. Go into details that gives you pain to remember but write it all down. Tear up the pages and burn it and the entire you are wriping and burning think of all the bad memories going away. Doing this several times over can help feel as if you are getting some good revenge on that moment, even though it wont make you forget it.
-Write a list of things that have happened because of that event, and make it all good things. For example, my first semester of college I got drunk with one of my friends and he took advantage of me. Although that is one thing I regret completely, so many good things happened because of it. My boyfriend and I fought so much over it and he made me guilty all the time so I dumped him for a wonderful person I want to share the rest of my life with. I also stoped talking to the guy who did this to me completely. Want to know how? I told him off. I never told people my opinions before. I let them use me for my kindness and let them treat me like dirt my entire life. Telling him I never wanted to talk to him was the best thing I could have done for myself. Since then, I have told people what I was feeling, and if I didnt like what someone was doing I would find a polite way to tell them. No longer did people walk all over me because I got the respect that I deserved. Do that. Think of all the things that have been good since that event. I know it might be hard, but force yourself to. There is at least one that you just dont know about yet. Write them all down and put the list somewhere you will be able to see it. Every day, look at it. Then write down memories that you have where you put your new powers to use. In my case, I told one of my friends to stop whining all the time because he was quickly going to loose all of his friends if he would continue what he was doing. Write those down in a diary and read it whenever you feel upset about the situation.
-Self affirmations work well too. If you tell yourself that what happened somehow turned out to be good, eventually you will start to believe it.
I hope this helped you, and I hope that you get better.
I have two teenagers with attachment disorder. This does sound like what they deal with. I'd suggest a therapist with expertise in attachment disorders. If you can't find one specifically with that specialty, look for one that works with a lot of foster and adopted children, because that's the largest group of people who have attachment issues. Both of my boys have PTSD; it seems to go hand in hand with attachment.
It also helps to have good friends. You might have trouble making good friends in person, but one of my teens gets around this by having a couple good friends at church, that he only ever really talks with online. Hiding behind a computer makes him feel safer, and the fact that they're people I know makes me feel comfortable with the whole arrangement.
Check out this place: http://soulofadoption.com/forum/index.php
There's a lot of people there with expert and real-world experience with PTSD, attachment, separation anxiety, and stuff. You don't have to be adopted, or anything, to be accepted and get some answers and information.
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