wat will i do if my canada girlfriend that ive known for over 1 year comes to britain with the plan of engage?

Question:

ive known a girl on the net that ive known for over a year, and ive been chatting to, weve grown strong feelings for each other, she knows that i get down because ive told her, weve had our up and down days. weve fallen out and made up again. she doesnt no that i have enduring mental health problems, even though im doin alot better in life, i still have anger, high levels of anxiety, extreme low self esteem, racin thoughts, im in the process of gettin help with a cpn. but she doesnt no any of this. and recently shes announced that shes coming to do her education over here and that she wants to be with me. and i want to be with her just as much as i really love her, weve just even aggreed we would both like to become committed to each other. but i live in a small crummy flat on my own, i greatly fear that if she came over here and saw all this and my true circumstances, she would reject me and lose interest. she really seems to like me & says lovely things to me, no girl has ever said

Answers:
talking to a community psychiatric nurse is a good start. You might also want to talk with a psychologist. A few things:

1. I respectfully disagree with the previous writer. You may find that medication is helpful for you. COnsult a qualified doctor abou medications. I also do not think that exploring your childhood through hypnosis or other means will bear fruit, but on other hand, if you see a qualified hypnotherapist....it cannot do much harm, outside of your pocket book.

2. Internet relationships can be very exciting and anxiety provoking. It seems like your relationship is approaching a very exciting and very anxiety provoking stage. Before this woman shows up in Britain, I think its fair of you to be honest with her and tell her.

A: You are very excited about her coming to Britain and you are hopeful about the prospects of this relationship.

B. You are feeling anxious about her moving to Britain and worry that she will reject you when she meets you

C. Before she moves to britain, you want to discuss how to proceed. Maybe the two of you can have a month long "probation" relationship where you can get to know each other better, before she moves into your flat and move forward with the relationship.

D. Tell her you love her and that you will do everything to make this relationshio work & that you expect her to do the same!

Other Answers:
This is why you do not date people on the internet!

trust me.... love is Blind

Don't use the internet for dates. For all you know you could be talking to some 40 year old woman or man.

Hello darling....this will be a test of her love for you, will it not? Marriage vows are "In sickness and in health, for richer or for poor." If she is worthy of your hand in marriage, she will not reject you due to emotional/mental issues. If she is turned off by your "crummy flat", she isn't worth your anxiety and certainly not worth your hand in marriage. In my opinion, you are just feeling insecure. It's my bet she won't reject you or find your flat "crummy". Your mental/emotional issues will clear up once you understand the cause and are able to find closure. May I recommend you see a hypnotist to clear the root of your issues? I wish you the very best. Vortex healing is something I have used to help other people and I have had sessions myself and where it may be costly (rates here in the U.S. are a dollar a minute-roughly) in 3 sessions, you will feel a huge difference. One 90 minute session could really make a difference. Good luck whatever you choose but just know that the root of your issues that have caused your emotional/mental problems can't be helped with medication....meds are never the answer. Your best bet is to find the root cause which is usually found in childhood. Take care.

http://www.vortexhealing.com

The schedule is so you may contact a practitioner, if you so desire.
http://www.vortexhealing.com/Schedule2006.htm

I somehow feel that the on line communication let her know the real you...if she is as sweet and understanding, maybe you should tell her to wait, just a little longer, because there are more things about yourself that you want her to know before she comes to see you...it is time now to just let it all hang out, and the thing is,...I think you would be understanding to her if it were the other way around...but let her know the truth...and let the chips fall where they may..She will either grow closer to you, or if she runs...then you would rather know now, than meeting her in person, and really being let down...Anyway, I have a funny feeling that she will be more than understanding and I am praying for you for the best results....your friend compassionate soul..you know I am rooting for you

just tell her everything

I agree, you have to tell her the truth. After a year you should both know each other fairly well. You say you've had ups and downs with her, so she probably already is aware of some of your problems. Trust me, she is not perfect either. I met a woman on the internet a year and a half ago, and she is one of my best friends now even though we haven't met in person. We've had up and down days too. But mostly up. Please be totally honest with her. I wish you the very best.

tell her that it is not the right time since you dont know each other that long and need your time to get to know each other

I agree with those here who have said that you should talk to her about your situation. It’s not surprising that you dread the possible negatives but perhaps you can spend some time thinking about the wonderful things that may be in store for you in the future too. Just know that if it really does not work out with her it will not “wipe you out.” You can continue on with life even if your relationship with this woman does not materialize into a life-long love relationship. The pain of a break-up is terrible but it passes and you CAN stand it. Perhaps once you realize that the end of this relationship is something that you could live through then you will relax a bit about exploring the possibilities and opening yourself up to the possibility that things may go well with her. Rejection hurts but the fact that you’ve managed this relationship so far shows that you can connect with people and have positive relationships. She’s just the one you know right now, she’s not the only one on the planet. I think the time to talk about these things is before she moves there and, as the others have said, do be careful when connecting with people online.

Do you consume caffeine? If so, stop. It can cause anger and anxiety. Sounds like you are over amping yourself. A little Zoloft from your physician everyday should help you out.
What you may think is a crummy flat might just be a quaint little flat. As long as it is clean and not cluttered I'm sure she will like it just fine.
Getting to know someone over the Internet is not as enlightening as getting to know them in person.

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wat will i do if my canada girlfriend that ive known for over 1 year comes to britain with the plan of engage?

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