Can I ever going to stop cutting?
Question:
Answers:
I'd say you've already taken a good step. Being honest and upfront about any mental health issue shows that you've overcome the stigma that's attached to it and that you are genuinely looking for help.
If you are at the point where you are severing tendons, you are also at the point where severing a major blood vessel is possible. This only highlights the urgency.
I would take the desire that you have displayed to help yourself and try some of the treatements you used to receive again. An RTF can be a very useful tool in a situation like this. Not only can they help you monitor medications, and help you lead a decent, productive life, they also mean that someone is present to help you should you hurt yourself too badly. I'd recommend you look into a new one as soon as you can.
Also, since you seem to be reaching out for help, you may find it useful to take that energy and apply it inward. Is there a past issue (trauma, crisis) that you haven't worked through? What is the cause of your desire to hurt yourself?
Bottom line: after reading your question, I get the sense that you really need, and want, help. The fact that you are a possible threat to yourself, even if you don't want to be, means you need to find some services and get some professional help. You deserve to live a life not having to deal with this problem, and I believe that you have the strength and determination to overcome it.
You just need to find the right treatment facility, and you can't, at any point, give up hope.
I suggest you put in a padded room in isolation. If you're harmful to youself, you don't need to have any sharp objects. One of these days you're going to end up killing yourself.
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