how do i get my boyfriend to understand my depression?

Question:

I have suffered from depression for at least 10 years. My entire family has some sort of depression and we are all medicated. My boyfriend says I'm not depressed. I feel like he thinks I'm lazy. Whenever I get really depressed and try to talk to him about it, he says,"everybody has the same problems you do. It's how you handle it." Then he changed the subject. Last week I couldn't get out of bed for 2 days and told him sometimes I felt like I wished I were dead and don't understand what the point is. He thinks I'm being a baby and making up excuses for not going to work. Am I doing myself an injustice by continuing in this relationship? Depression is a huge part of my world, and at times I feel like I'm being brushed aside, and like it's not a really illness.

Answers:
Unfortunately it sounds like you're with someone who doesn't believe that depression is real. Been there, done that. The only thing I can think to suggest is for you to take him to see your therapist (if you're seeing one) and have the therapist explain how very real depression is: that it isn't just laziness, that you can't just will it away, et cetera. If that doesn't work you're better off with someone who not only understands what you're going through, but loves you for all you are.

Other Answers:
Well, I agree with you and your boyfriend. But I don't think he is very good for you. You need somebody that will support you and help you through the days. "Depression is a huge part of my world..." Don't let depression run your life. It will only hurt you in the long run. Try and live your life as fully as possible. I know it's tough, but you can't let depression control your life. Good luck.

oh yeah, and I think the only way to make him understand is to possibly explain it to him, or somehow show him what it's like. Think of a way he would be able to see it.

If he doesn´t understand that tell him that IS IMPORTANT FOR YOU and if he still don´t care just let him go. If he doesnt care today he won´t care neither in the future.
Something that is important to point is that depression illness can be treated correctly if you look for help. In the beginning it may look like the "mood" you're feeling in that moment but if you let it grow may be dangerous. You say that you have 10 years suffering it.... I think its time to look for real help.

Well, I had the same problem 2 years ago, with my husband and children, they wouldn't understand me. Until I became suicidal and I talked to my therapist about everything, she offered to explain them the situation and what really depression is. Then they understood and didn't bother me anymore, I could come out of my depression with therapy, support from them and the medication, the three of them are very important. Please if you feel like hurting your self, reach for help, even to your local hospital, don't be depressed and alone. All the best.

My husband has a tendency to do the same thing, to tell me I'm just being over dramatic. "So get over it!" is his usual response. So I just stopped telling him and started telling him "I just don't feel good". And it isn't that he's trying to be cruel or that he doesn't care, it's that he just doesn't understand. He's not predisposed to that kind of blackness, has never sat in that dark pit of dispair to even know what it's like. And it's been my experience that people who have never been in that dark pit can never and will never be able to truly understand. And I've gotten the same thing from other sufferers...that they're partners don't understand. So I'm afraid I don't know, other than to stop telling him the truth. Just tell him you don't feel good.

(((HUGS))) to you. I've seen that blackness and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Here's to "bright" days. :)

I went through the same thing when I was first diagnosed with depression-only it was with my husband. I just couldn't explain it to him.. On a trip to the doctor when he was with me, I asked the doctor to explain it to him. The doc spent about 30 minutes going through it with him. Now (10 years later) he remains very supportive and helpful. Might not be a bad idea for you to try,

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how do i get my boyfriend to understand my depression?

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