What is wrong with me?

Question:

Everytime I'm about to get into a relationship, I do something to cause it to fall apart before it begins. Like the last time I told him I was "emotionally unavailable" as gay as it sounds, its the honest to god truth. And the only successful relationship i've had was with KID A. Kid A and I were very similar people, so when we started hanging out and stuff it TOTAL worked and fit right?! But he has an actual mental disorder and issues with depression. I helped him through some and for some reason, right between New Years and Valentines Day something happened, I dont remember what, and I remember saying to him "This is too much I cant deal with it." He had me thinking he was honestly going to entertian thoughs of suicide. I put his little brother on suicide watch when I couldnt be. I hated KID A for around a year. He and I are friends again, and honestly I sorta want him back because we had so much fun, but why must I sabotage all new relationships before they begin? What is this?!

Answers:
Keep reminding yourself that life is about wanting what you have, not having what you want.

You ask what is wrong with you, probably nothing. Based on your story, I would imagine you gravitate to drama and that is normal. All you need to do is enjoy the idea that you enjoy drama!

Sometimes it's a subconscious thing people do when they really don't want the responsibility and commitment of a relationship. Maybe you aren't ready right now. However, if you feel ready, then you need to not listen to those negative thoughts in your head that are urging you on to sabotage everything.

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What is wrong with me?

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