why can't i make friends?


Question:
i am a very nice person, and after so long, my friends use me and then dump me.sometimes for kicks..sometimes becuase i no longer offer the thing they want.sometimes, they never say.. it's the same online and in real life..i'm seriously considering just not having any friends from now on. If people do nothing but turon on me, then i'd rather be alone and lonely for life instead of having traitors as friends. people usually come to me only when they want or need something, anyway.i have no friends right now, and i'm just too upset at this point to try to make friends again.i question whether it's even worth the rsik or not. (I do have autism/Aspergers' Syndrome, and that makes it all the more difficult for me to determine if people are using me or legitimately being a friend.). Am i also unreasonable to only want a friend that is unable/incapable to turn on me or hurt me?

Answers:
I hear you, I know how difficult it is to make and keep friends when you have Aspergers spectrum disorder. No amount of to-dos and not to-do's, will help a person who is so disconnected . In my opinion an Asperger affected person lives in world of disconnected islands. A friendship requires connections, promptness ,empathy and something that relates two or more persons.
First accept your Handicap and try to live in a scale down sphere of social life.
Second find a pass time or hobby in which you are good at . Stick to it, You will make some friends.

Other Answers:
Yes ,You can

Just be yourself, don't try to impress people. It takes time but you will find true friends. someday you will find someone who likes you for who you are.


Are you a friendly person? Try to smile alot. Be nice and talk to people you like.


you have described my problem in detail, i ask myself the same thing every day. we can be eachothers friend.

i truly believe no one takes advantage of you unless you allow them to. I have the same problem w/ making and keeping friends. I'm not a good source of advice right now, but I can listen if you want to IM me.


I believe it is extremely difficult to make true friends with someone you did not grow up with. Nice people get used by impostures pretending to be your friend. Study some good jokes and develop a funny attitude but not to goofy or they might think your a dork. Telling truly funny jokes and being a fun person may bring you better friends. You have to be nice but at the same time know how to stick your foot up theirs if they screw you!


Don't be too nice. You must have a balance of mercy and strength to equate to balance. Live for yourself. Ask yourself, "What kind of world do I want to live in?" and then work to make it that way. Remember, you are your own justification for existing. My favorite philosophical axiom is: "I swear, by my life and by my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor will I allow another to live for me." It's your life, screw those losers. Learn to be a better judge of character. Friendship should be based on coming together for mutual benefit. Toughen up and learn the difference between your friends just busting your balls and real shystiness, sometimes it's just tough love.
Source(s):
The Virtue of Selfishness - Ayn Rand, Life

i can be your friend:) i have a hard time making friends to No you are not unreasonable to want a friend who is unable or incapable to turn on you. Thing is though a person can always turn on you. It not impossible for that to happen and I've had experience there with my best friend from elementary school betrayed me. Thing is though i didn't dwell on it. You just got to smile and laugh it off. I'm one of the nicest people in school and even if a friend will dump you it's their own fault for losing you. Just keep moving on and be careful what you tell them! Best of luck!
~Mel


Yes, you could have Asperger's. Look for a specialist in your area and talk to them. If you want to talk to someone, I will talk to you. I have no interest in hurting anyone or using anyone, see my 360 to understand more. Take care.




More Questions and Answers

The consumer health information on youqa.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007 YouQA.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Resources