My life is a complete mess...?

Question:

I'm about to completely give up. I'm a 22yr old lesbian female living at home with mom for the 2nd time due to a coke addiction which I'm completely over. I'm super depressed, always have anxiety attacks, can't control my mood swings. I've tried working, it makes me want to commit suicide EVERY time and i end up quitting or being fired. It's basically come down to work or die. And I'm considering death, because if I work I'm just going to feel like dying anyways. It's not the work that bothers me.. it's the environment, the people looking at me, etc. I've tried working tons of places. I was even a salon manager, but still the feelings stayed.
So... I'm in debt. Obviously I need a job. I'm about to most likely have a surgery due to a fibroid in my uterus, which puts me more in debt. I don't know what to do. I'm taking Effexor, the highest dose. I can't just 'get over' things..I've tried since the day I was born.
Any suggestions... *real* suggestions? Thanks.

Answers:
Go to a counselor to get your feelings sorted out. A counselor is an unbiased person who will not judge you, just listen. Do not give up. I know how hard it is to"get over" things but have come to realize that I can't make them the focus of my thoughts.

Other Answers:
Real sympathetic story, Maybe u should see a doctor then a church minister. The combintion works magic if u believ it will.

People sometimes get really depress and this can take months, I'll try to find profesional help, perhaps is not that bad. I do have depresive periods, but that is part of life.

Your not getting the right help. Get a new doctor & new meds. Don't give up.!!!!!!!!!... Mental health issues are treated for free in any emergency room Just tell them how you are feeling.

how should i no its not my life

I am a Muslim I suggest you to start practicing "your" religion (most probably U R Christion) U would find most answers their, if U need more help I will try to help U.I will be there for U.

suggestion: get admitted. In a hospital. Until the doctors tell you to leave. You can spend some time in front of the computer? why don't you work there?I do.Any job that gets you going.two things, top priority - a safe place where your condition won't bother. A space to work. Work it out girl!

Yes, get counseling. Also talk to your psychiatrist - you may need a different medication.

Also, try attending NA meetings. I know you said you are "completely over" your addiction, but addiction is an illness. There will be tons of people at NA who relate with what you are going through. The adiction isn't over when one stops using the substance. It's a chronic, lifelong condition. Let us know how it goes.

Love, Jack

Okay. One you need to calm it down. You're stressing yourself out over absolutely nothing. YEAH, I said nothing. Let's take this step by step:

(1) For the anxiety attacks breathe in really slow and deep from your mouth, hold for at least 5 seconds and slowly exhale through your nose (it will feel funny, like you are not getting enough air, stick with it). You are taking short shallow breaths and you have too much CO2 in your lungs. So you're body is trying to suck in more air and thus making you light headed, dizzy and feeling like you're about to pass out.

(2) We all have to work so cut the shiznits. I hate working. I am sitting here on youqa.coming everyone's questions opposed to working. It's a part of life. I've had at least 30 jobs in my lifetime and this one probably won't be the last.

(3) If you DO work, you can have health insurance and you won't have to come out your pocket so much for your surgery.

(4) No one is looking at you unless your hair is orange and green or buggers are hanging from your nose. It's the after effect of coke (My name is Diva and I lived up to that name honey).

(5) Coke affects part of your brain. And you being 22 Im taking a guess you haven't done nearly enough to jack up it up for that long. It will take time for your brain to realize it's normal again.

(6) Suicide might not yield the results you think. No one knows what happens on the other side. Maybe you're reincarnated and sent back to the same hell you are going through now, over and over again until you get it right. Maybe you come back as an 80 year old woman in a nursing home. I don't know about you, but it's better to deal with something you have some control over opposed to killing yourself and finding out it's worse.

(7) You need to make sure that the medicine you are taking is right for YOU. I had to try a bunch of different ones before I found one that didn't make me nervous, anxious, scared. Talk to your health care person and say HAYE, this is not working. Another possible reason is you keep stressing so much you are releasing too many endorphins into your body at one time. Ask your mom to get you a yoga video - stop laughing and do it.

(8) I've done EVERYTHING there is known to man PLUS a lot of shiznits that would make you squirm. And man, it was hard as PHUCK to just stay right on a daily basis. But you know what chickadee? You can and you will do it.

(9) Seek mental health and no you're not a wet puzzy for doing it. Sometimes, you just need to get it ALL out and start over from scratch, a therapist will help you. And yeah, they're a stranger but trust me when I say you will feel like a brand new person just to release everything in your head to someone that has no vested interest in your situation. Example, when you talk to your mom, everything is from a mothers loving point of view, and that's not what you want to hear. Therapists look at things logically, as a third outsider and they NEVER judge your actions.

Baby steps.....day by day....maybe tomorrow you get the newspaper....maybe the next you make a call.....maybe the next you get depressed and lay in the bed all day....maybe the next you kick the shiznits out of the voices in your head and get up and do something...

But how will you know if you sit around feeling sorry for yourself saying what you can't do? Girl please....you're a woman...that in itself makes you one strong azz bytch...find your power...

Diva

Manic/depressive mood swings is pretty well covered, in many of these posts.May be advisable to seek a professional who deals with this type of problem. This problem may actually be the reason you had to try the drug scene. In the vernacular lof the day, is labelled as bi-polar.

Hi and good first off wither your a lesbian or not that does not matter as a matter of fact it simplifies one thing right? I myself was born a hermaphrodite and understand the sexual ambiguity so I am proud of your standing there. As for all the issues it is very difficult to deal with every thing all at once. It may easier to pick one thing and concentrate in that area. Then go on to the next. You would have to decide what is the most important to you and has the most negative effects on your life. There is no right or wrong in that. As for NA and AA stuff that choice is yours but what you are describing seems to be rampant among folks that are recovering and it never just goes away or gets better over night it is a fight and its a fight for your life. Having some one around who is honest and not cruel is helpful like say a quasi normal person what ever you view as normal. And pushing your self is a factor that sets you up for defeat doing it one thing at a time works it is slow but it works! As for shrinks I think it is not you but them you have not found the right one ask around to others in your situation you will probably have more luck. I am proud of ya for standing up and saying it though your getting stronger just for that!

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My life is a complete mess...?

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