Trust Again??

Question:

All of my life I have been looked down upon by just about everyone I know. I have been called all sorts of names and was physically abused. I have a terrible time trusting people. I trust my husband and his family (we grew up really close to each other so I have known him since we were in grade school), but I can't seem to let anyone else in. I have tried with my sister, but she just keeps stabbing me in the back by talking to family members about me behind my back; however, when we are together she's so quiet, yet acts like I am the best sister in the world. I, too, recently found out that the person that I thought was my best friend did some horrible things behind my back. This was years ago, but I can't find it in me to forgive her. I feel that everyone that I let in to my life just finds it to be a game and then later on does something, in secret, to get me to distrust them. How do I get past this to allow people that I know, and people that I don't know into my life?

Answers:
As one grow older, one learn how to read people. Use your instinct to judge whether one can be trusted and gossip will die on its own. If you are what you are not, then you will have a problem.

Other Answers:
my advice is don't get past anything! Never forget what people have done and don't think for one second that they wouldn't do it again. You have your husband and his family and that's all you need. Learn how to be somewhat superficial.don't let anyone outside know the real you until you are comfortable then start by telling them tidbits.

I am sorry for your plight- although you may not want or need my sympathy.

I am a very very nice guy, and I get taken advantage of all the time. Or at least, I used to. With friends, I am going to be stronger and more assertive from now on. I want to dissect the character of people immediately, and stay away from them if something smells to high heaven.

However, with my family, I can't be like that. I love them, and I want to be gentle. That's a big problem! My parents are awesome people- but I think that I let them have too much of my money, and I only get 600 dollars a month on SSDI. I have OCD.

It's a most difficult challenge to know whom to trust- but you can do it. Trust in God, and in yourself. Learn from these lessons- not everyone can be trusted- and they must demonstrate their worthiness before you will allow them into your inner circle.

maybe it is you letting them walk all over you and they were only using you to begin with.. my old friends used me and i finally got tired of being used so i started to stand up for myself and i learned how to tell them no and i stopped worrying about what they thought of me.. if they are friends at all they will like or love you for who you are.. and as for people whom you don't know yet. those will just have to be chances you take.

Well I would not have a clue I can't trust people either

How does someone become victim to so many? We all have experienced betrayal at some time or another, but it sounds like you are getting more than your share. Get away from these people and find some that treat you better than you feel you deserve. You may also need to grow a thicker skin and stop putting your feelings in the hands of others. You can choose to be hurt by thinking everything is about you and how people value you or you can think that the people doing these things are insensitive, uncaring, selfish and just generally screwed up. Then decide if you want to associate with them any longer. Get pissed. Defend yourself, but don't let their actions define you. Once you feel like a strong and worthy person, once you aren't so easily wounded, you can trust again.

Now, let me apologize for my answer if its a bunch of crap to you. I know its not as simple as I make it out to be.
Source(s):
experience

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Trust Again??

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