Tunnel Vision? anger?

Question: Me & my bf broke up last Monday. It has been a week now & I "was" doing fine. I felt empowered & was happy that I finally stood up for myself. Now, I am going through strange emotions. I know that you go through many phases such as denial, depression, anger etc etc. However, I am going through this many emotions in ONE day. We were together for 4 long years and we were very close. When I first wake up , he is the first thing on my mind. After I have been awake for a while, I will begin to get very angry and feel almost VIOLENT. The anger is so intense that I get tunnel vision and can't even rationalize with my own self. I went out looking for him today to see if I ran upon him in the city anywhere. I don't know what I was going to do. I even thought one time. What AM I DOIN? and I cant stop myself. Nothing matters right then. Then I will fall into a depression and feel so sad and miss him. Then the cycle starts over. He didn't treat me right. He was sort of mentally abusive. Help!!

Answers:
Unfortunately, it takes two problems to tango in an abusive relationship. Usually the partner of an abuser is called "co-dependent." This is a person that hangs on to a relationship beyond the point of being healthy. One feeling you should be having is that you should have broke things off a LOT earlier and maybe asking yourself why you allowed the relationship to continue as long as it did.

As you continue to think about how this relationship happened, you might want to seek some counseling. Yes, you might be thinking that HE is the one that ought to seek counseling, but you're responsible for YOUR behavior, not his. Maybe you thought you had rational reasons for staying, but if you explore this with a neutral party, you might find that you need to change some of your relationship tactics so that this sort of relationship doesn't happen again in your life.

I urge you to seek the counseling NOW because you sound like you are either experiencing or about to experience a nervous breakdown or psychotic break. Neither one is good for you. You probably need to vent in a safe environment and even this place is not the best.

An important goal: Make sure you learn to identify the patterns of abuse accurately. I wandered around spotting false abuse identifiers for a long time and was single for a long time for that reason. Make sure you learn something objective like that from a counselor, otherwise you might worry like I did that it's just quackery.

Best wishes!

Other Answers:
Well my answer isn't going to help you. so I will just keep it to myself.

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