How can I have more control over my hot temper?
Question:
When I get angry sometimes I even have the urge to throw things or hit the person that did something to annoy me.
This is causing problems with my relationship with my significant other and sometimes my family. How can I have more control over my angry emotions and not get so easily frustrated or annoyed?
Answers:
Anger is NOT caused by what someone else does or says - It is caused by what you THINK about what someone did or said! People are buttheads all the time.But it gets to you IF you say to yourself THEY SHOULDN'T BE LIKE THAT~! You think people should know better; but, they don't!
When you realize you have no control over what others DO ; but, you DO have control over what you THINK about what they do. This puts YOU in control over your own emotions! It's empowering. You can say, "hey, I don't like what she just said, but she just doesn't know any better!" In other words, cut people some slack; cut yourself some slack, too. Don't expect to be good at this overnight; just say "Oops, I just let that get to me again!" " Let's see, what could I think about this to feel better?"
Other Answers:
I have a real temper problem as well. It used to be much worse though, and I'm now much more in control of it. I started out by doing simple things, that while they still weren't very "in control" kind of things, they would at least keep me from doing something destructive.
Try screaming into a pillow, for starters. I know it sounds kinda' cliche and silly, but it is a really good stress reliever.
Next, try working out. Push-ups, sit-ups, squats, lunges, etc. Physical exertion will cool your temper quick.
Once you have enough of a handle on your temper to begin with, try sitting down and writing something. Even if it's just an angry letter to whatever the source of your anger is. Say EVERYTHING you want to say in the letter, and then destroy it afterwards.
Maybe after you've got your temper under control by that much, you'll be able to channel it into something more positive. I, for example, write poetry and stories.
Alternatively, there's always violent video-games, which I still frequently use, as well.
Finally, remember to think about what will happen if you do act rashly. What will happen -this- time when you lose your temper? What will happen in the long run? That should deter you pretty well, also.
By the time I was done typing this, I also noticed a lot of people suggesting drugs or anger management. Those things might help some people, but they're certainly not the best or only answer. I would STRONGLY suggest avoiding therapy OR drugs, until after you've given sincere effort to more independent alternatives.
tell your bf to b1tch slap you every time you get angry. Gun range
Don't forget to breathe. Don't just react, think. Think of the big picture and think of the consequences.
Xanax and booze.
Guarunteed results.
Zoloft!
Not just an antidepressant, also helps with anger control. Talk to someone about why you get so angry. Read about it on the internet. There are a lot of angry people that don't try control it and end up in jail or worse. so you are doing the right thing.
Good luck
Well.if you get more angry about 10 days or so before your period is due, then it could be PMS.
There are various vitamins that can help, especially B vitamins..and natural supplements such as evening primrose oil etc. Ask a professional perhaps
Communicate your feelings. Pray for peace. Are you getting enough sleep? that must be very hard for you to go through. There are many ways to help you control your anger and you dont hurt the ones around you. I know you get frustrated and annoyed by just the sound of their voice, what they say and how they say it right.? well just walk away or work out helps you get the stress out cause you sweat it out. Instead of yelling at everyone around you. Just go and scream into your pillow. Be smart about make it look like it doesnt get to you.just look at them and smile. When I get really really mad and everything and everyone is buging me. I go into my room. Trun on some load music. Or I go for a siwm. anything active to get your mind off.
I have had a lot of experience with people that have short fuses. My daughter's boyfriend has had some trouble with it but his has go help for it and is doing alot better so my advice is to talk to someone you trust and ask them what they think. No matter how much you think noone understands someone will.
Sometimes it helps me if I take a deep breath and count to 5 before I react to something that gets me really po'd. Then I can decide if it's worth it.and it's usually not. :)
Recovery, Inc. helped me a lot. Check your local paper to see if there's a support group in your area. The tools they teach you are also used in cognitive therapy, just phrased differently.
I've also found sometimes it helps to smash something you don't care about. I bought my ex a bunch of cheap plates from thrift stores or yard sales and had him smash them on the outside of the house when he needed to smash something. Learn really soon to direct your anger to inanimate objects so no one gets hurt, OK?
And I admit I get chicken and avoid situations where I know I'll feel like confronting others- like going to social services to try and get my Medicare premium paid and some food stamps, I write letters and e=mail all the time rather then face people that I really just want to punch in the face instead. It's the smart thing to do.
Physical exercise is very good for letting go of angry energy. STOP DOING DRUGS OR SMOKE A BLUNT WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF GETTING ANGRY. WORKS LIKE A CHARM
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