How do i get my boyfriend to see a counselor or a therapist/psychiatrist?
Question:
after he calms down, he reluctantly admits he was out of line but this has happened way too many times. Even if I break up with him, I think it's a good idea for him to talk to someone that can help. He's got a lot of pride and will probably never talk to anyone because you generally associate psych patients with being "crazy"
I just want him to understand what he's doing and get help. How do I set something up for him? Is there anywhere with free counseling?
Real answers, please! Thanks
Answers:
GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP! I'm not kidding! people like that take a lot of time to change the way they have acted for so long. the reason for his anger issues, or bipolar attitudes, might be because of the way he was brought up. The most important advice is that, you need to get out. The only thing that will come out of this relationship is pain for you both. 1) he will resent himself, and 2) you could end up being quite incapable of normal human being emotions, and you could get hurt.
I know it isn't easy to hear, that someone is telling you do dump this person, who you might have been with for a long time, but don't blame yourself for the break-up. But it has to happen. It won't be easy. but I wish you all the luck, and I'll pray for you!
Other Answers:
Try going with him...thats what i did
do not marry this person or anyone like this
for the sake of your offspring
please
just get out while you can...please!!
Please let him know that he is the one who is "crazy" for not addressing his anger problems........Honey, you can't change ANYONE, they have to WANT to change themselves.......Please take this into consideration.........Would he be angry if he knew that you posted this question?
You can't do it for him. He has to want to do it himself. The only way he can be forced into seeing a mental health counselor or attending anger management classes is if a court orders it. Has he physically assaulted you? That is when you should call the police and have him charged. If you can't do that, then leave him before you end up seriously injured or worse.
1) You need to break it off with this guy before you get hurt or killed.
2) No matter how much you love someone you CANNOT make them want to save their life. I would make it a condition that IF you and he were ever to get back together again it would only be after he is finished receiving counseling.
wow i think you just wrote the story of my life right now. I live with a diagnosed bi polar guy. I managed to get him to the doctor with the help of his family doctor. I convinced him he was out of control when he threatened suicide. He went to the doctor but unfortunately it didnt last. he has refused treatment or medication to control his mood swings. i live day to day waiting for him to hit rock bottom again and i will use that as an opportunity to get him hospitalized. Hospitalization is sometimes the best route to getting diagnosed and stabilized. if you can get him to see how much better he feels on meds things will be good. feel free to email if you need more info or support\
kbudds@hotmail.com
I recommend reminding him about what happeneds to people when they become angry on a regualr basis. They usally end up in jail and become phyiscally/mentally abusive. Make sure that if he keeps his anger up .. he will lose you. That should be enough to get him to go to counselling if he's really serious about your relationship. If he refusing i reccommend staying away from him because people can become abusive which leads to bad ends. I know from exspirnce.
listen Leo D, you need to sit him down, make it seem serious keep him looking into your eyes, i mean make him think something is very wrong. Tell him you cant stay in an abusive relationship any more, so either do something, or im out of hear. Let him know how serious you are but still remind him off what you go threw and how much you care for him.
If hes worth being with, he will do something. What he has is just to destructive. Its dumb to put up with it, when help is so easy to get.
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i agree with sarah b. and tell him that you need to consult a psychiatrist too.
Doesnt sound like bipolar if it happens specifically when he is angry. But this guy defenately has something going on, and should seek help!
If he is acting out at you, hurting you physically or verbally, it is ABUSE, and you don't deserve that!
Be supportive about his seeking help. Offer to go with him. If all else fails, give him an ultamatum - he gets help or you leave. If he's not willing to get help to keep you, then he doesn't deserve you.
Best of luck!
that's a really good question. I want my husband to go too but I don't think there's a really good way to approach it. I think you should get out of the relationship and then talk to him as a friend. Maybe a good time to approach that situation is when he admits he was out of line. You should suggest you go to a counselor to help you both. Hope this helps!
talk to a psychiatrist and ask him/her a good way to do so? but the best way to go is to ask him and if he refuses knowing that its that important to you. then maybe he thinks you arnt that important to him. It probably will get worse and then you may really get hurt and if it does hopefully you will know what to do.
Firstly he has to WANT to seriously go for treatment. You dont indicate whether he has insurance or not, his age etc. Most mental health issues are covered by insurance, so it might be a good place to start. One of my ex's was exactly the way your boyfriend was, except he might have been worse. He blew up for no reason, and would literally kick holes in walls, break anything he could get his hands on etc. He didnt do this when I was home, but when I got back I would see the tirade he put himself through. The clincher was when he did this for the THIRD time, and was covered in blood by stepping on glass that he had broken. I (like an idiot) cleaned him and his place up. I told him that he HAD to see a doctor and a psychiatrist or therapist OR I would tell his family. Somehow he agreed, and to this day is on drugs that completely changed his life around...for the better. BUT...I left him after he got better. I could not forsee myself or my future with someone like this. We are still the best of friends, in fact I saw him today. But I am married now to a wonderful man (who knows all about this) who has shown me the difference between putting up with darkness when there is so much light to be had. PLEASE think of your own well being hon. He has to want to change. Be his friend, but do yourself a HUGE favor and try to distance yourself from him. You will think of this conversation and thank all of us in the future. God bless you.
You could offer to go to counseling with him, but I fear for you if you do this. If he gets that defensive about other stuff I can't imagine how he'd react to you dropping that little bomb.
You need to know that it's OK for you to not take care of him. You take care of you. You're not married, so that whole "in sickness and in health" deal doesn't apply to you. Clearly you care for him, which is lovely, but your sanity and safety should come first. I'd end it and tell him why. Perhaps that will be the impetus he needs to seek help. Once he's worked his issues out he will be better equipped to handle an adult relationship.
You didn't create him or his problem and you cannot change him. It's a huge mistake to think you can - I wasted three years of my life trying to change someone before I woke up. I strongly suggest that you seek counseling as well - it helped me move on.
Good luck, hon.
sounds like a no win deal on either side
1. if you do get him to go chances is he is going to be put ofn pills for life and it is permnant on his record
2. that will destroy his chance of a real paying job
3. Once people hear about he has mentle problem and he was talking to a head doctor and he is on pills people will shone him
A friend of mine was that way his girlfriend tried the same methods and he went alone with it for a few month and he was trying for a job to surport himself but the pills he was taking messed him up big time and also his mentle record no enployer would hire him so the next week he tied a rope to his bed up stairs and put it around his neck and climbed out of the window to his death. he dropped 5and a half feet before his neck snapped instant death. so I say leave him is the best way
call the cops. tell him that this dude has anger issues and when he gets mad he does what ever he does that makes you think he is nuts.
They make him see a shrink and hopefully he will be better.
but yeah, forget about the relation ship, don;t marry him, then one night he hits you and then ask for a divorce after you had had a baby with him..don't be stupid
He is not the one with the problem YOU ARE! Because you have put up with this he does it again and again. And it will get worse. You cannot fix him - you can only fix yourself. By going to a counselor and learning more about yourself you will get stronger. By getting stronger yourself - and possibly leaving the relationship - he may choose to turn the corner and learn to control is anger issues. Please - get yourself out of harms way. You deserve to be treated with respect and consideration.
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