Is it abnormal to think about death alot? and when i walk over an overpass/bridge to picture myself jumping?
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Answers:
The thing is people afraid of dying are really afraid of living--that is, they know they havent lived up to their potential.
If you get relief knowing you could end your life and dont, just relief knowing that it could be done, there's not actually any real harm in that.
Kind of like an alternate escape route.
But quit doing it, quit indulging in the thoughts, cuz when or if you ever get angry enough, you've already kind of rehearsed and its not too much of a jump from that point.
I'd suggest a savings account even to start with just enough money to go somewhere by plane to just 'get lost' if need be. Add to it later as you can for hotel and food. Not kidding. Just having enough money to 'get away' is a better start than daydreaming about taking a one way jump.
Sounds like you are a little depressed. I still have those feelings, but manage to keep them very well under control. If you feel like the urge is unbearable phone the suicide hotline and make an appointment with a doctor. Just know that there are people who love you and would greatly miss your company.
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