I have trouble telling my mom...?
Question:
I have a tendency to procrastinate this alot... its so hard for me to tell my mom things. Especially when its important... the more important it is, the harder it is for me to tell my mom.
Is this is disorder? Is something wrong with me or is this common?
Answers:
I think every girl goes through this, You are a normal teenager. But you should try and take some time to get to know your mom better, spend time with her, you may be surprised at how much you enjoy spending time with her. I was a wild child teen ager me and my mom fought all the time, but as i grew older I realized everything she did was for my own good. I have a daughter who is 21 and when she was 15-16 she paid me back for all the things I did to my mom lol. Now we are really close and she tells me everything. Remember friends come and go, but when things are bad and you need someone, it is MOM who is going to be there. Give her a chance. good luck to you!
Other Answers:
So common! No sweat! Just tell her and don't worry, nothing will happen to you.
maybe you are just afraid of rejection....if your mom is strict you dont wanna hear her screaming at you so you try not to get on her nerves.
i do that
What are you afraid of? Her rejection? Why? Could possibly be.
I think you may just be shy, like me. Usually I just force myself to at least start walking toward the person of interest, even while my mind is screaming "Nooooo this is gonna suck!!". It is sometimes a little embarassing but at the same time I feel relieved and happy with myself after the conversation.
Is it because your scared she will hit you or fight with you?
If not, then maybe your just parnoid, and you think too much abut what your mom thinks of you, you are always looking for acceptance, and re assurance. Its not a disorder, you just need to write something down on how you feel nad show your mom, maybe its your moms expressions or attitude that scares U
don't be nervous.
maybe u and ur mom should hang out..u noe like go to a spa..
or a girls night out..
go to the mall..
i mean anything..
and talk with ur mom how u would talk to anyone else like ur friends.. b/c wen it does come to the important things..ur gonna get frustrated and ur mom is gonna be worrying about u ...so just tell her..talk to her liek shes ur friend [weird..but just try it lol]
that happend to me a lot. =]
I would say it is very common. I think it also depends on the relationship you have with your mother. Despite that though (whether good or bad) it becomes difficult because you might be afraid of reprocussions, whether it's just saying no.
It might also be that you do not want to burden her or bother her. If you have a good relationship, then especially the important things will be very difficult.
I can reasure you it's not a disorder. It can be common. I mean maybe your afraid your mother might say NO of seeing your friends or NO parties or NO going out. and Nothing is wrong with you I know alot of people who are scared or shaky about telling their mothers things. Maybe your mom says NO alot and so you are afraid she would say NO.
Sounds like maybe when you were younger she may have been very critical or hard on you so now that you are older it is easier to just not tell her things so you don't have to listen to her. Even thou this may be hard.....try telling her what you just told us, tell her that you want to be able to talk to her but you just don't know how to sometimes.....And as for it being a disorder....no I don't think that you are any different then any other kid that has a hard time talking to their parent....if it is to hard to talk to her maybe you can try writing a letter to her sometimes that works better for me. Good luck
It probably just means that you value her opinion of you and don't want to dissapoint her in any way...
On the other hand, is she real strict or opinionated? Does she ever make you feel bad when you tell her things? Does she play the perfect mom role? These could all be reasons you feel this way...whatever it is, I'm sure it is normal. I remember feeling the same way with my mom...We've grown a lot closer since then. I'm sure your mother would feel terrible if she knew you felt this way. The reason I say this is because I'm a mother and I want my children to feel like they can come to me for anything...and she probably does too!
I remember going through this when I was your age. Yes it's normal but only to a certain extent.
I think you should ask your mom this question exactly as you wrote it. Do you and your mom have long meaningful conversations? Can you and her just sit and chat? Being comfortable in your relationship with mom is important to you. I think you want the best for her and are afraid of anything she may disagree with.
It's ok for mom to say no, or "I don't like that" or "not in this house" It's sweet that your so sensitive and caring of what your mother might say, but limits you from doing some things you want to. There are going to be a lot of things your mom will not agree with you on or get upset with. But how will you know if you don't ask? If mom is unwilling to compromise on many things, you need to ask her why? don't be whinny about it either.
P.S. Ruthie's answer (above) is the best one.
Perfectly normal. You may be shy or your mother may be overly critical. Either way you have to address it. So... Next time say "Mom, sometimes it makes me nervous when I talk to you. Were you this way with your mom? " It is worth a try. She may know how to ease your pain. If nothing else, you have addressed the problem and should be proud of yourself for that.
If nothing else, just take a deep slow breath and start talking. If you still have trouble, try writing her a note. Good luck. I'm sure it will get easier for you.
It's not a disorder, you just feel nervous around her. Maybe you guys should have a mother daughter day out so you can get to know her a bit more, and you'll fell more comfotable around her. Just don't feel nervous to tell her these things. Don't think about it just tell her.
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