Intentionally anti-social.? Next step?
Question:
I used to be rather social-- out with people all the time-- 2 years ago as a freshman and sophomore in college. I got burned by some friends and, while I realize I still have some quality friends, don't want to go out, be around people, etc.
I know I should be more social and get more out of life, but I'm not sure what the next step is.
How do you actually enjoy being social when it no longer fits your personality?
Answers:
It looks like you used to view socializing as fun until you got burned at which point pain was associated with socializing and it made you less interested in socializing.
Now you say that while you like being alone you feel you are getting less out of life. This looks like a conflict because you feel better when you are alone but intellectually you know you are diminishing your life. You know that there is more to be had in life by having relationships but you are not experiencing that on an emotional level. Your peers are probably in the process of dating, getting married and planning families and that will be lost to you if you don't socialize.
It is probably important to look at this issue with a really good therapist as it could have a profound effect on the rest of your life.
As a first step, you could plan to do something you really like and that would let you interact mildly with other people and see how you feel. Maybe an adult ed course would do the trick.
Happiness studies indicate that socializing is important for the happiness of most people.
Other Answers:
well just call someone if ur friends make u feel intimidated or sumthing meet new people! go dancing take a beer just do anything! life is way tooooooo beutiful to waste it!!
You sound like me. Though I have a personal reason why I am unsocial: I have enough people inside my head talking to me without having to deal with a bunch of outside influences. Lighten up dude.
Sounds like you could have Social Anxiety / Social Phobia?
See here..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety
You sound like you're going through a phase. It's good to enjoy your own company (and this is a lame line from a movie, but it applies here) because wherever you go, there you are!
If you truly enjoy being by yourself, then I don't see a problem. You know who your friend are and that you can go to them if you need to. Keep in touch with them to some degree! Don't totally cut them off.
If you get to the point that you truly want to be with others (or feel that way now.I know what the question says.I'm just sort-of trying to read between the lines a little) maybe you should talk to your doctor. You could have some chemical imbalance going on, or s/he may recommend some counseling.
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